Disclaimer: like most pedophiles, I have never approached a child with anything sexual or otherwise inapporpriate, and I don’t plan ever to do so. I recognize the harm in such actions, and I don’t want to hurt the very people I love. If you expect AMA with a child molester, this ain’t it.
The account is a throwaway, hope you’ll understand this decision given the sensitivity of the topic.
Edit: Thank you for keeping civil and genuine in your questions. I did envision hostility, yet here you are, amazing as always. Lemmy is a wonderful place to be, thanks to you all!
Edit 2: Apparently we have another brave pedophile here in the comments, and he came with a good note I should include in the post: if you find yourself attracted to minors, that’s okay. Acting on your desires is dangerous, but having them isn’t. If you’d like to have some support and/or community that would help you get your bearings or just listen without any prejudice (we’re all in the same boat), there are places that can help you. removed
Then I don’t see the issue too, unless they get too invasive and don’t allow me to have some personal space for a prolonged period of time. I don’t consider it a sexual or romantic experience on their part, and I love to share some warmth with them. They need that care and love and attention, and I’m there to do exactly that. I will allow them to hug, crawl, play with my hair, even kiss in the cheek if that’s their vibe and if they behave this way with others.
Normally this doesn’t overload me, but if it does (like if my deep child crush does it repeatedly) or if the child starts going to inappropriate territory, I can always excuse myself and leave for a while, while processing it and planning ways to calm the child down.
Well, pedophilia refers to attraction to pre-puberty children generally, and more exactly - to children between age of ~4 and puberty. For pedophiles, I’ve heard a saying “7 is heaven, 8 is great, 9 is fine”, and it’s about as golden rang-y as you’ll get. Personal experiences differ a lot, some will prefer the younger range, some the older, I personally would call 9-10 my perfect one.
There are other terms related to other age ranges in minors, like infantophilia/nepiophilia (up to about 4 years old; often considered as part of pedophilia, but has distinct features), hebephilia (attraction to children going through puberty), and ephebophilia (attraction to post-puberty minors, i.e. ~15-17).
Ephebophilia is straight up super common, especially in males, and most ephebophiles don’t consider this as something off - after all, 18 years old is a legal boundary, not natural one, and 17yo person barely differs from 18yo.
In any way, should you academically define pedophilia, you already only look at the range from 0(4) to about 12.
Thank you for your honest and straightforward answer!
I imagine you’re more sensitive to it, as someone in the community, but do you ever hear someone talking about their attraction to a 4 year old (for example, as someone outside your range) and think “that’s so weird, I just don’t get it”? Basically, I’m asking if you ever feel towards them the way that most people would feel towards you? (at least in terms of confusion, ignoring the hate). Or is it closer to feeling more like a preference, where you’re more like “I guess I could see it, but it’s just not for me”, the way some guys might not find some celebrity attractive that other guys do find attractive.
Speaking of “deep child crush”, I have a more direct question which could get into uncomfortable territory, so please feel free to not answer this one if it feels too invasive.
People who are into adults tend to have sexual or sexualized characteristics that they focus on. The classics would be “boobs” or “butts” or “legs” for people attracted to women (though of course there can be others), and “hands” or “butts” again or “forearms / shoulders /muscles” or “voice” or “hair” or “height” for women (though of course there can be others).
Many of those are post-pubescent features, probably not by accident. So, what features do pedophiles find attractive in kids? What separates some random kid from a crush?
Mostly “that’s so weird”, but then “my attractions feel equally weird for others”, so I end up not being weirded out, but I certainly can’t comprehend it.
I’m not sure I can point out a single feature of a child I’d find attractive; it’s firstly behavioural factors (I love children that open up to me, and I feel and notice the trust and bonding effort they put into relationships with me), and only then physical features (voice, face, body size, arms, feet, and general body proportions; genitalia as well). The answer will significantly differ between pedophiles, though, with some prioritizing some other factors. I know many pedophiles that are into boys are absolutely obsessed with butts, for example, and while I can relate to how they feel, this is far from the first thing I’d look for in my boy crush, for example.