Based purely on this picture I absolutely see a girl 🤷‍♂️ You pass fine, you just maybe like you’re having a PJ day at home or something

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I’d say you pass. Looks like a first day off work PJ Day to me.

Hey friend, I saw this post a couple days ago and it’s been sitting with me since then and I’ve been thinking about what I would say here. I know this kind of thing is tough. Passing is often seen as the most important part of transitioning, primarily because the rest of society explicitly or implicitly demands it. And if that’s important to you, that’s perfectly valid.

Personally, I’m more of a gender abolitionist. Gender is a social construct that society has tried (and kind of failed) to narrowly define and place barriers around. And we live in that society, so we can’t escape those feelings that have been forced on us and pounded into our subconscious. But it’s good to remember that it’s all bullshit. What a man looks like and what a woman looks like, even the traits that society has assigned to them aren’t rigid. There’s a wide spectrum for both with a HUGE overlap. I think this world would be a better place if we didn’t have genders, but individuals that interacted with each other as human beings who are allowed to look and feel the way that just feels natural to them without judgement or pushback. I know the world isn’t anywhere close to that, and I have doubts it could ever get there. Even holding these beliefs myself I still have subconscious thoughts intrude that contradict this ideal. But I take those moments to observe those thoughts and push back on them internally to better myself in this direction.

That being said, regardless of why you want to look more “feminine”, it’s valid and should be supported by everyone. I support you in this. Do what makes you feel happy and secure.

One more thing. I’m real bad about just letting every instance here in my feed, because I don’t want to miss out on potentially good content. So I didn’t immediately realize this was in Transfem. But when I saw your picture, I saw a woman, for what it’s worth.

You look sad, but you do look feminine. Taking care of yourself will go a long way towards body image. The only clothes I have right now are handmedowns from my ex before she left, and from my middle daughter. I’m no hair care expert, by any means, but I do know enough to know frizzy hair takes some extra work to maintain. Researching a proper hair care routine might be a good way to start feeling better about yourself.

I would also recommend a routine in your life, in general. It can really help stabilize what’s going on in your head and help getting into a good headspace.

Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. You are very pretty. You just need to give yourself a chance to shine.

I dunno if this helps, but my brain tends to categorize gender presentation on a sliding scale of fem-androgynous-masc instead of using male and female. And when I saw your post my brain automatically said: presents as fem.

I think you pass, at least based on this photo! Although as someone with glasses, I would definitely recommend trying on many different shapes and sizes and see if any make you look for feminine. It helped me when I switched from rectangular glasses to round ones, but everyone’s face is different so definitely experiment!

I have a 17 yo cis female friend at school. You look the same as her

You “will” not pass. You ARE passing

Unrelated: I wanna hug you aaaaaa you look so squishy

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