• Squirrel@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    44
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    I (37M) recently caught myself getting frustrated when my wife offered solutions to my ranting. I just wanted to complain and not be told all the ways I could have avoided the problem in the first place. I finally understand.

    • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yes! It totally happens to everyone, once you notice it. Best self-awareness/relationship advice I’ve heard is say something like “Are you looking for advice, or someone to listen?”. Phrasing and tone to be adjusted by the individual user, obviously XD

    • TheDoozer@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      1 year ago

      There is, I think, a significant difference between giving suggestions on how to resolve an issue, and a person offering ways you could have prevented it. And I would hazard most people find the latter unhelpful and annoying.

    • pomodoro_longbreak
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      Thank you, yeah it’s like sometimes you just have to work through it before you hear some suggestions.