I worked at home depot, and our manager made people sign a form before having a Hi-Lo load a pallet of floor tile into their truck because it would cause their suspension to bottom out. They’d do it, and drive off with zero leeway on their shocks.

We had one guy come in bragging about how his super-expensive hydraulic suspension could handle it. We loaded 2 pallets of tile into his truck bed. I bet he felt every little crack in the road driving to the job site.

Aren’t submarines supposed to sink?

slaps back of smart tv this baby has 256MB of RAM!

tv unresponsive for 30 seconds after turning on, loading the RAM full of adware

Web page was actually an image! Whoops! (I get this error a lot)

Like, literal skeletons? Or metephorical ones? Either way, I’m pretty sure we’ll find both

It looks like something you could lift up, like a sewer cover or something. Some madlad probably swapped them.

Honestly, I went to a small sling backpack to get everything out of my pockets. It gets uncomfortable, but I didn’t realize it because I was putting everything in my pockets for so long. Sitting with one side higher because of my wallet in my back pocket, and a big bulky phone shoved against my thigh, etc. Now I have a belt case for my phone and everything else in my bag, and jeans have never been more comfortable.

I’ve solved this problem by simply being scheduled 7 days a week for the rest of eternity.

I must be combining scenes, but I distinctly remember one where it was made a point that he was naked at a point.

My 4th grade teacher read a chapter to the class every day, same with the sequel. I specifically remember the part where he was standing outside naked in winter and some tree bark just kinda exploded, and he was freaking out trying to decide if the freezing bark caused it to expand and explode or if a hunter was out there shooting bullets at him. Also, the part where he finds an orange-drink packet in the survival supplies of the plane and describes the taste of it.

Edit: I think the tree bark part was in the sequel, Brian’s Winter.

Some people don’t have the knowledge or confidence to build a PC or go through the process of installing everything to run games like a pro PC gamer, and for them, the do-it-for-me approach of console gaming is the best route. With the upcoming generation of iPad kids, I feel like console gaming is going to be bigger than ever.

Disclaimer: I’m a PC gamer almost exclusively.

“It’s sterile, and they like the taste.”

It’s almost as if being publicly traded is bad for the stability and longevity of a company. Who would have thought?

[Disclaimer: I only read the headline]

Now do beam beans.

What’s better than one wall? Two walls!

Mushrooms walking in one’s house at night can bring new meaning to the phrase “tripping on shrooms.”"

Just yesterday, a coworker mentioned my insulated water bottle and remarked on how they always seem to keep ice for over a day, and I proceeded to describe the thermodynamics of vacuum insulation at 4am in the morning to a NT that was half asleep. Once I noticed they were staring at me, i said “haha sorry its probably too early for this.”

Every holiday is Halloween.

Governments should not be measured in “value” of any financial aspect, but rather the quality of living of the citizens they govern. Electing a leader of questionable human rights morals would be a disaster.

I guess I do!