And yet he remains miserable and lonely

I do love the word gaiety. It just invokes such an enjoyable time, and honestly I don’t think it’ll be too misunderstood

I used to live in a small town with a cheap historical monoplex about 15 minutes walk from my apartment. I’d just check what was playing on my drive home from work all week and if I was interested I’d walk over on the weekend and see a $10 showing of something. I’ve never been much of a moviegoer but it was really nice. Literally the only nice part of living there except the 15 minute commute to the job I had. Round here though it’s just not worth going to a movie alone

It sounds like he isn’t open to change and you don’t enjoy his company anymore. I think it’s time for a “you’ve changed man, and I don’t like this person you’ve become, if you ever get over this hatefulness you know my number, but until then don’t contact me.”

I hate to tell you it may be worth it to give up on him, it sucks for you, it’ll suck for him, and if I thought you’d change his mind it would benefit me for you to do so. But he seems committed, and when you apply force you often face an opposing force. Anything that might change him will be in his soul and it will involve him feeling consequences for his beliefs like the loss of friends.

And beyond that, sticking around will just prolong your heartbreak. Sometimes relationships end, and sometimes it’s ugly. We culturally accept that for romance, but it’s true for platonic, professional, and even familial relationships. There is only one person in the whole world you’re stuck living with for the rest of your life, and it’s you. I’ve found few regrets when I remember that fact before making hard decisions. Whatever choice you make here, make it one that someone you want to be would make.

The thing is you can really only buy sycophants and pleasure, and the thing is that those aren’t love and happiness. Love and happiness are more easily found by finding equals

Oh he’s absolutely the type to make the rules give female characters -STR (possibly -INT), and +CHA (possibly +DEX) and inverse for male characters. As well as all sorts of dewokification

It was an apocalyptic pandemic. It was very much not good enough for them back then.

That’s very explicitly the reason why. When he writes romance it’s done with a level of respect for his female characters that’s rare in fantasy novels in my experience. He doesn’t want to be associated with the FLDS or the ownership of wives by husbands, he wants his female characters to have autonomy and to exert their will on the narrative. And so yeah he’s not even going to give Shallan and Adolin their tall broody (depressed and traumatized) superhero doctor in shining armor boyfriend because of it.

Vin and her boyfriend both pursued each other and worried they’re not good enough for the other. Shallan (whom the fandom ships into a threesome) arranged a political marriage by her skill as a scholar and apprenticeship as a scholar to the Princess before eventually falling in love with her husband who’s smitten with her. And on that note Jasnah is a princess who’s always been more concerned with scholarship than men (very ace coded) and is an atheistic character written with the level of respect he wishes atheists would write religious characters, she’s not foolish, merely incorrect. Then there’s Elantris where Sarene is a princess engaged in political marriage against her father’s wishes, because she sees it as a good move for their kingdom and he’s concerned about her happiness. Warbreaker is the story of a woman rejecting the political marriage she was raised for and her rebellious sister learning to navigate the life she was stuck in as a result.

Also shout out to the gay interspecies relationship in Stormlight between two nerdy men (in the setting scholarship and literacy are considered extremely feminine, which is in itself a feminist statement about men hampering themselves for masculinity)

Full agree. I think I just had shit reading comprehension this morning. Tariffs are a terrible way to achieve this goal. Laudable goal, but demanding better conditions or subsidizing American manufacturing are far better means to achieve it.

So I was like you, though I came out probably a bit younger (20) and back in 2015 when everyone and their mother learned we exist. I had always been masculine (afraid to be feminine) I didn’t always know (that someone like me could be trans) and I could go on. I did luck out that my mom was a vocal trans ally already because a local trans teenager’s suicide note called her to action, and she had no idea that her big bearded son was actually her daughter.

I came out before starting hormones but I already had my first appointment with a therapist (informed consent was just taking off at the time and I could only find endocrinologists who needed letters of recommendation, and I feel ancient having to explain all this, like jeez this was so different of a time I was actually showing courage by telling that therapist I was transitioning to gay). And the main reason I came out first was because I was moving back in with my parents after realizing that living on campus might take away from my bottom surgery funds in the future.

It wasn’t a great time to come out by “family health standards”, I spent my early transition stuck between classes and taking my mom to oncology appointments. The people who were accepting were accepting, the ones who weren’t weren’t. Some of the ones I expected to be accepting weren’t and vice versa. And my grandma took like 7 years to gender me correctly consistently and maybe eventually she’ll stop calling my wife my “friend”.

But anyways, I only regret not coming out sooner. Partly because I came out over the month on either side of Caitlyn Jenner and yeah that took some explaining. Mostly though because everything that was going to happen was going to happen. Your roommates may be a different story, but otherwise once you’ve made up your mind to live authentically only delay with purpose. Most of early transition is waiting anyways, may as well hurry up so you can start waiting.

Also for a different perspective my wife was on hormones when she came out to her family because she was an adult and independent and she expected pushback. It was easier for them to accept she’d done it already than for them to fight over her doing it.

For anyone curious, he figured out how to rapidly amplify samples of DNA. While doing that he would routinely cause trouble by doing things like bringing a gun to work and having public arguments with his girlfriend at work. His Wikipedia entry sounds as sane as he is.

I just got it last night and completely agree with your daughter.

I can actually answer that as an Ohioan. We were one of the most militantly pro freedom states and it was partly influenced by us being a state that bordered both a slave state and a free nation, as well as the fact that the fugitive slave act was perceived as an explicit attack against us and as overstepping. We still held a lot of pride in our state’s actions preceding and during the civil war at least when I was growing up. These days I see too many traitor’s rags flying though.

Oh actually those herbals didn’t help! That was during the prime era of the miasma theory of disease and the thought was that the plague spread through bad air (actually spread through bacteria infesting fleas which infested rats and humans, or through direct contact without proper santitzation). So they used strong smelling herbs to attempt to ensure all the air they breathed was good air. It also helped them focus because the buboes stink when they rupture or necrotize. Also fun fact, the plague still exists, it’s just not present in significant amounts in the industrialized world because of antibiotics. This does however mean that we may eventually see the rise of antibiotic resistant plague.

I’ve definitely taken to using one “herbal” alternative. Seriously though, I use cannabis as an otc analgesic and anti nausea medication, because nothing else over the counter works as well for me. But I’m not afraid of pharmaceuticals, and I generally lean away from herbal remedies because of inconsistent dosages and unwanted effective compounds. Medicinal herbs didn’t develop those compounds intending for you to benefit, so it’s foolish to assume all of them will be beneficial when you need one of them.

That tracks as we usually “don’t smoke” (idk if you still have to quit to get hormones but you used to)

Why is it that anytime anything happens in the United States a bunch of Germans come over and teach us how to fight?

And more importantly, any Germans feel like getting into a scrap in America right now?

Yeah, Canada would likely benefit from prioritizing European Union alliances. Or focus on Mexico

Ain’t most swamps also forests?

My family drove through Kansas once when I was a kid, and yep, the Great Plains are kinda rough on the head if you aren’t used to open grasslands. It’s like being on the ocean but grassland instead of water. Just grass and land as far as the eye can see