• Maeve
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    843 months ago

    Maybe we should raise our standard to “don’t bully.”

    • @[email protected]
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      303 months ago

      Sadly we love hierarchy dominance just about as much as we hate how much it makes us look like apes.

      Teachers and school administrators almost always side with bullies. They can’t help themselves.

      • Maeve
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        3 months ago

        I know. My child had a terrible time* of it, during their school years. And I’m slowly* becoming more aware, because I’ve almost no filter and blurt out whatever crosses my mind. I’m addressing it, but reversion sneaks up on me. I just have to keep working at that, and way too often, missing what seems obvious to others or very belatedly.

        *Yay autocorrect

      • @[email protected]
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        43 months ago

        I call it an invisible caste system. There is so much perceived superiority over even the simplest of things.

    • @[email protected]
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      63 months ago

      While I agree that we should avoid bullying rather than just avoiding bullying specific groups, this might go too far. We should just make a whitelist of people who you can bully, like Republicans or people who watch reality television.

      • Maeve
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        83 months ago

        No. It may feel good in the moment, but doesn’t change anything. It just reinforces their belief that the world is out to get them and makes us hypocrites, or if done regularly enough, turns is into the beast we would destroy as e also feel bad about our behavior and ignore those feelings long enough (they’re there for a reason). And sure, there will be momentary lapses and negative feelings we didn’t know what to do with them. That’s when it’s time to face our shadows, again, and do the work. It took me a half a century to get there, but I’ve begun trying. I hope you will join me. It’s an individual work, but we can support each other, if you’re game.

      • @[email protected]
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        33 months ago

        If we’re going here…

        Whitelist isn’t the preferred nomenclature. Use terms like allow-list or permit-list.

          • @[email protected]
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            3 months ago

            Usually a deny-list or a block-list.

            These are the inclusive terms that are getting adopted in IT, at least, and they usually work in that context. Maybe not for everything.

            • @[email protected]
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              3 months ago

              So what the heck are we calling “Grey-hats” now?

              Edit: not to mention the other two hat terms

              • @[email protected]
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                3 months ago

                At my company, white hat hackers are to be called “offensive security researchers”. Black hat hackers are to be called “attackers”.

              • @[email protected]
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                23 months ago

                Don’t forget about the whole master/slave thing or how often programmers kill children.

              • @[email protected]
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                3 months ago

                I think grey still is acceptable, at least until the martians start demanding equal rights.

                I think terms like “legal grey area” don’t have the same connotations as black/white do, because “grey” isn’t really used as an adjective for a person.

                I still refer to our oldschool Linux admins as greybeards. I think that’s okay because there’s like 5 oldschool female Linux admins in the world and they are chill as hell.