I’m starting to think that my life is over and I don’t want to live anymore. As of writing this I am a 23 year old woman with no qualifications or education. I have learning disabilities and my IQ is just 76. I struggle with things like talking, maths and spelling and I can’t find a job.

When I was a kid I knew I was different. Things that were easy for the other kids to do took me ages to learn. Kids used to make fun of me because of the way I talked and in general I could fit in. As I got older my learning disabilities become more noticeable. I was diagnosed with ADHD and low intelligence and therefore struggled academically but my dad refused to put me in a special education program because he thought it would be an embarrassment. School was very hard for me. I would work my ass off just to get C’s and B’s and my father was very abusive. He would expect me to do well in school and if I didn’t he would beat and punish me. I had to repeat the 7th and 9th grade but I eventually graduated but very poor grades and no qualifications. When I was around 15-18 started to do drugs like weed and alcohol just to cope.

I left my parents house when I was 19 and went to live with a friend. I have very little money as I’m addicted to drugs and my lack of education makes getting a job practically impossible. I don’t see my life going anywhere and when I’m not on drugs I’m miserable. My brothers and sisters have done so much better then me and it makes me so jealous, angry and ashamed. I know this may sound cringe but I honestly can’t do this anymore.

EDIT: I now have a job at Burger King as a cook. It’s not glamorous but it’s some money.

  • Sentient LoomEnglish
    7·
    10 days ago

    You write very well, and communicate coherently. I don’t get a “low intelligence” vibe from the structure of your post. Although the negative focus suggests an unhealthy fixation.

    It sounds like you might have good emotional intelligence. I think you can find something you’re good at, develop that natural talent into a strong skill, and just give yourself to that.

    Also remember that negative thinking creates bad outcomes. I know it’s not your fault, and your negative thinking comes from negative experiences, but you’re clearly demonstrating a kind of intelligence in how you communicate.

    Short answer: yes, there’s hope for you. You’re so young. You have time to find what you’re good at and give yourself to that.