Experts warn Trump dangerously close to figuring out where Canada is
thebeaverton.com
OTTAWA - As the re-election of Donald Trump sends shockwaves throughout geopolitics, experts within Ottawa's Department of National Defence warn that the temperamental US president may be closer than ever to locating Canada on a map.

While experts have chillingly predicted that Trump may soon be able to identify Canada on a globe, others have offered hope.

“I don’t often say this as a medical professional, but we’ve really got dementia on our side here,” explains Dr. Arthur Anderson of the Calgary Alzheimers Research Alliance.

Dr. Anderson elaborates, “Given how much of the campaign President Trump spent rambling to Joe Rogan and jerking off microphones, the prognosis indicates that by January he won’t be able to find a bathroom unassisted, let alone Canada.”