And ummm this is not a cry for emergency help. It’s a pondering. I do wonder if many others can relate.
“Awfully bleak” to current me is very little contact with others, difficulty with daily tasks, repetitive cycle of days feeling unable to function, inability to concentrate, financial desperation. Those things are all bleak. And yes all that negatively affects my self esteem. In earlier days what sidelined me was self hatred and nihilistic thoughts. Now it’s chronic pain.
When I am extremely anxious, I have a strong tendancy to isolate myself until I feel so terrible that I need to reach out to people so that I can at least express some of my worries.
The high anxiety brings all of the things you are feeling for me as well.
That’s dumb because I get out of those slumps by reaching out to people, but when I am anxious, I isolate myself.
I don’t know where you are, but therapy helped me diminish those tendancies a lot, if that’s an option for you.
Otherwise, sleep and less social media helps me a lot when I feel terrible.
The news are always highly negative and it affects me. And sleep is essential to function well. When I’m trying to get more sleep, I reduce my screen time and any stimulating activities after 7-8PM. That’s boring, but that helps me a lot to sleep.