i will talk to my doctor about this of course but just wanted to collect my thoughts and seek out some other experiences before my next appointment. Sorry for such a long post, I guess the TLDR is I’m not sure if I lack the ability to focus enough to have ADHD.

Since I got the results i have been reading and listening to a lot of stuff about adhd. One thing I am pretty sure of is, if I do have ADHD it is the “inattentive” type, not the “hyperactive” type. Even so I am still quite conflicted about whether or not I actually have it at all. I’ll read one article and think “that’s TOTALLY me, I definitely have ADHD”. For example, I have really struggled with these things since middle school at least (i am 40 so trying to think back before high school is a bit fuzzy):

  • Severe motivation deficit/procrastination, particularly for tedious tasks and long-term projects
  • poor long term planning/project management (even gives me some anxiety just thinking about)
  • poor long term time perception (like I’ll intend to think about and purchase Christmas gifts, but then it’s too late)
  • Not great attention to detail, and I feel like I can sometimes jump to conclusions
  • Some trouble finishing “last 5%”
  • poor sleep hygiene. i actually fall asleep and stay asleep fine but it’s hard for me to put myself to bed at a good time and wake up in the morning. mornings have been hell my entire life.

But then I go read something else and think “hm that does not sound like me at all”. For example I am reading the book How to ADHD, and in it she says:

According to Hallowell, if you, an attention-challenged person, abandon all the distractions of modernity, go live on a farm, and finally find peace, you don’t have ADHD. If, instead, you show up to the farm and get so bored you decide to build a carnival—congratulations, you are one of us.

Like… I would absolutely not have the energy or motivation to build anything like a carnival. I would of course occupy myself with other things, I guess reading or playing guitar or listening to music, but isn’t that basically normal? I’m just not sure how to interpret this. Is this more applicable to “hyperactive” people, maybe not so much for “inattentive” people?

I’m just not sure what to make of all this yet. My whole life i have felt extremely lazy and low energy, but once i get over that initial (major) motivation problem i feel like i can focus fine and get stuff done. Is that what “hyper focus” is? Or does that more likely mean I don’t actually have ADHD?

Thanks for reading and any feedback is welcome.

  • cytokine0724English
    2·
    19 hours ago

    Sleep issues can cause ADHD-like symptoms. But ADHD also often causes sleep issues, too. Have a read of this article.

    For what it’s worth, I have diagnosed and medicated inattentive ADHD. I also have a small farm. I have never once been bored with it; in fact, if anything, I feel like I struggle so hard to make sure that everything gets done to my level of satisfaction. I get our chickens fed each day, my partner cares for the bees, and the dog gets two chunks of time outside to play fetch a day. But the garden is only ever half-weeded. If I feel anything, it’s panic over how much time it takes me to do things and a constant feeling of drowning splitting my time between the farm, my kids, my day job, community, and social responsibility.

    I also have learned that I CANNOT go sit on the couch after I get my eldest child to sleep. If I do, the multifaceted tentacles of YouTube will grab me and I will wind up trying to operate on 4 hours of sleep too.

    All this to say – ADHD experiences vary wildly, but they often rhyme. A lot of the folks in here are saying ‘yep, your symptoms sure do rhyme.’ Take that as you will :)