Summary
Elon Musk allegedly installed an unauthorized server at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), gaining access to sensitive federal employee data, including Social Security numbers, home addresses, and medical histories.
Young, inexperienced staffers are reportedly using this access to target positions for removal, particularly DEI offices.
Security concerns have been raised, with fears of hacking and HIPAA violations.
Senior officials have been locked out of key systems, limiting oversight of DOGE’s actions, which could significantly impact the federal workforce.
Musk’s crew at DOGE—Trump’s weird fake agency—built a secret server to swipe every federal worker’s private deets. Skipped the law? Obviously. No privacy checks, no rules—just a free pass to dig through Social Security numbers, health records, and your cousin’s lame USAJOBS résumé.
The “talent” running this circus? Some college kid and a teen who probably still texts “XD” unironically. Peak competence. They’re blasting spam emails like it’s 2003, while China’s hackers lick their chops.
Congress is suddenly shocked? Please. They let this dumpster fire burn until the lawsuits rolled in. Musk calls it “streamlining.” I call it digital kleptocracy with a side of Space Karen vibes.
If this is “innovation,” humanity’s screwed. Imagine a Bond villain—but instead of lasers, he’s got Excel sheets and your mom’s dental records.
Stay frosty. The future’s here, and it’s run by rich twits playing Sims: Government Edition.