Lists of crisis hotlines across the world: (Crisis Hotline) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisis_hotline#Telephone_counseling
(Helplines, Suicide Hotlines, and Crisis Lines from Around the World) https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world
Those are really difficult emotions to deal with. I’ve been there, with friends, partners and spouses. It’s hard. I wish I could help more but all I can say is you’re not alone. I know it hurts. I hope you find something to smile about today ❤️