• spaduf@slrpnk.netOPM
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    1 year ago

    I think the important thing here is that there’s absolutely no reason it HAS to be this way. These aren’t intrinsic properties of male and female friendships. They are driven primarily by cultural factors and have changed significantly even over recent history.

      • offendicula@fedia.io
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        1 year ago

        This is so eloquent. Your group has a beautiful thing and you are truly honoring your friend’s memory.

        • fartsparkles
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          1 year ago

          I really appreciate you taking the time to say that.

          A side note to the above; men struggle to keep friends, especially as the years go on, but our group keeps growing (all initiated to the power of hugs and love).

          I think it’s the openness that’s made it so much easier to stick together rather than fade away. I hope more men can open up and deeply bond beyond surface interests and common spaces.

          • offendicula@fedia.io
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            1 year ago

            Of course! Changing the world starts with changing the world immediately around you. You’re truly doing good, even more so by opening your group to newcomers!

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001
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        1 year ago

        It does when it comes to closeness and intimacy with friends. Look at a lot of European cultures where kissing your friends is extremely common and closeness is normalized.

        It’s all the anti gay shit that gets spread in America that makes men uncomfortable to be close and open with their friends

    • Tb0n3
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      1 year ago

      Where the hell do you think cultural factors come from?

      • migo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Where do you? Do you think that all societies in the world have the same culture as you?

        • Tb0n3
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          1 year ago

          I’m just saying the cultures arise from the people. There’s a reason things are the way they are and it’s not some evil corporation or government trying to oppress us. At least in the west. Can’t quite say that about China or other Communist regimes.

          • ThatWeirdGuy1001
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            1 year ago

            Things are the way they are because people are forced into the culture they were born into and are pressured at every angle to stay that way or face social backlash.

            I got called gay cause I got too excited while talking to one of my friends. Because it’s a common culture trait in America that any overly positive emotion towards another guy means your a sissy boy

            • Tb0n3
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              1 year ago

              They called you gay not because they thought you were homosexual but as an offhanded insult. The two definitions have been disconnected for quite a while.

              • darq@kbin.social
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                1 year ago

                I mean, no, the definitions are not disconnected at all. Gay was used as an insult because it meant homosexual.

                  • darq@kbin.social
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                    1 year ago

                    Only because the term has mostly fallen out of use. If you still use “gay” as an insult, it absolutely is still homophobic.

              • ThatWeirdGuy1001
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                1 year ago

                Trust me it wasn’t just an insult where I grew up it had a seriously negative impact on my ability to socialize or form any kind of romantic relationship

      • blanketswithsmallpox@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        You’re right to a point, it’s just coming off as dismissive.

        Yes, men and women are built differently through biology. Yes, hormones give an innate edge for certain factors. One of them may very well be the ability to last without a social structure for longer than women. We’ve slowly built up our society with smoky mirrors of those facts around us.

        What they’re saying is that nature vs nurture isn’t 100% one way or the other which I think you’d agree with. It’s more you’re both pressing pedantic points lol.