I’m getting tired of being the household beast of burden. Last night I decided to try and make just ONE damned chore in the house equitable. I assigned one kid to empty the dishwasher, the other to fill it, and my husband to wash whatever large items wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. We discussed it. He agreed it was fair. I HATE a dirty kitchen and can’t cook when it’s filthy and I’m tired of doing all the cleanup before slaving away at the stove and then repeating.

Spoiler: he did not wash the dishes. He played video games and then went to bed. I washed them this morning.

I was mildly annoyed (read this happens constantly so I’m used to it) and told him just now that since I washed those dishes, could he please put them away. He’s doing that now, but his response has me fucking fuming.

“Why wouldn’t you just wait until I washed them? Why did you HAVE to do the dishes just to make me feel bad about it?”

I was mildly annoyed before and now I’m just fucking furious. He has no idea why I would even consider that manipulative. I’m so mad right now I can’t even find the words to productively explain to him why that statement was so offside.

Help me, sisters. I can’t even find the words.

  • @[email protected]English
    32•10 months ago

    I’m not a woman, but I have dealt with this kind of behavior before. The best advice I can give is next time everything is left dirty just go get yourself something to eat and if someone asks where dinner is point out that you can’t cook anything in a filthy kitchen and just leave it at that. It’s worked with roommates I’ve had in the past.

    • @[email protected]OPEnglish
      23•10 months ago

      I have tried this. Unfortunately when you run a house, things need doing, whether you want to do them or not. So although in principal this makes sense, in the end it just makes more work for the person who is running the house. I have two kids that need to eat. Hell, I want to bloody well eat. Why should we all live in filth so that his ego isn’t bruised when I point out he didn’t do his very minuscule bit ?

      This would work with roommates though.

    • @ElderWendigoEnglish
      6•10 months ago

      Running a household with family and children, small and large, is not like a house with roommates learning to be real humans. Shit needs doing and petty passive aggressive games are unproductive despite how cathartic they feel on paper. Good way to ferment resentment and drive a wedge between family though.

      • @[email protected]English
        -9•10 months ago

        Oh no! 😲

        You really got me 😭😭😭

        Fucked up my whole day man 😰

        I’m going to take those words to heart and really rethink all my life choices 😉😉😉

        You’re sage wisdom will not go unnoticed 🤓

        🤡

          • @[email protected]English
            -8•10 months ago

            Oh my god! 😱😱😱

            You mean to tell me that some asshole on Lemmy thinks I’m TOXIC?!?!? ☣️

            I’m truly devastated 💔

            Please excuse me, I think I’m going to be sick from the grief 🤢🤢🤢🤮