DAVENPORT, IA—Perplexed by the toddler’s affection for the nonagenarian, sources confirmed Tuesday that local 2-year-old Ava Kerper was getting awfully attached to her 90-year-old grandmother. “She knows the average life expectancy is like, 77, right?” said the sources, who scoffed while watching the child demonstrate her complete and embarrassing obliviousness, wrapping her arms around her grandmother and announcing, “You’re my favorite!” “Personally, if I were going to choose a favorite person in the whole wide world, I’d choose someone with more than six months to live, tops, but hey, you do you, I guess. Christ, this is not going to end well. If this kid’s not careful, Grandma will die with Ava on her lap, and then she’ll live with that regret.” At press time, sources confirmed it was Kerper’s own fault for not learning her lesson with her 98-year-old grandfather.

  • SuzyQ
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    210 months ago

    It took me too long to realize that MY grandmother is 98 and my youngest child would fit in this scenario… and my kids are the great-grandchildren and she their great-grandmother. 🤦 My kids haven’t been toddlers in several years now, but they actually love spending time with her when we visit.

    • The Picard Maneuver
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      310 months ago

      Damn 98!

      We should all be so lucky! It’s great that your kids have gotten this much time with her.

      • SuzyQ
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        210 months ago

        I’m glad so too. I can only hope to live as long as she has and to be surrounded by so much love.