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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MissyMissedMisty on 2023-06-21 02:14:45+00:00.
Hey everyone, I’m Misty (21F) and I recently found myself in a situation that left me feeling uncomfortable.
Lauren and I (both 21F) have/had been dating for about four months.
Lauren and I had many deep conversations about our families.
I felt like I had a good understanding of her family dynamic, particularly her close bond with her sister, Eva (30F), who happens to be blind. Last Sunday, we went to their house for a visit and a dinner.
As we arrived, I greeted everyone warmly, including Eva.
Lauren casually mentioned that Eva touches people’s faces to get a sense of what they look like. Before I knew it, Eva’s hand being guided towards my face by Lauren.
I backed away and politely said, “Please don’t touch my face.”
Lauren took me into another room. It was then that she informed me that Eva had a habit of touching the faces of everyone she dated, but I was the first person to decline the gesture.
I explained that I wasn’t comfortable with someone I had just met touching my face, as it made me feel weird and invaded my personal space.
Lauren, however, seemed to take offense to my refusal. She argued that Eva’s behavior was just a part of their family’s dynamics and if I couldn’t accept it, our relationship wouldn’t work.
I responded that while others might be fine with it, I had my boundaries and felt uneasy about the situation.
In the end, I felt so overwhelmed by the whole ordeal that I decided to leave without saying goodbye to anyone. Lauren reached out to apologize later, but I stood my ground and made it clear that our relationship was over.
Lauren was supposed to stay with me in my apartment during summer classes, and she cannot now. She also was getting rides from me to work and I have blocked her number. I really am tired of friends reaching out to ask if everything is okay, because Lauren and I were friends for a few years before this happened.
I have very strong boundaries with touch. I had family who refused to accept no when it came to hugs. It isn’t anything I consider unforgivable, but I make it really clear with people when I say no to something it is not up for argument, if it involves touch. This just showed me that four months in, and two years of friendship, all those talks meant nothing.
AITA?
I get the space being invaded, but up and leaving and breaking up seems a bit much. Maybe your partner could have prepared you more? But it seems like everyone could have prepared better for this specialized introduction.
I’m not sure there’s assholes, but a few things could have been done better.
Then again, I’m not in your situation. But I do feel not liking my face touched