Several users have brought to the moderation team’s attention that there is increasing toxicity within our community. During discussion, the mod team has agreed that there is a noticeable increase in toxicity Lemmy-wide, so it might not be limited to our community only.

We would like to maintain the [email protected] community as respectful, inclusive of controversial perspectives, and encouraging of discussions. Furthermore, we aim to avoid silencing (deleting posts/comments) users unless they flagrantly violate our rules, while reserving user bans for repeat offenders (we all have bad days) and flagrant abuse.

Importantly, as autistic people and allies (NTs and other NDs alike), we go through enough difficulties as it is. We don’t need to be going through it here either. Let’s keep this our healthy space.

The Mod Team’s Perspective

We don’t want to silence users outside of clearly violating the rules, and we would prefer to avoid banning users for one or two minor offenses because we all have bad days, but we also don’t want to put up with toxicity either. Rather, we want a community that’s respectful, understanding, inclusive, and open. Lastly, as mods, we don’t see ourselves as controllers of the truth or authoritarians, whether benevolent or not, nor do we have the power to control topics of discussions or what is right within the autistic community as a whole. We are merely users trusted by the community with the power to remove posts, comments, and users per the established rules which are always up for discussion, and we use that power to build the community for all of us in [email protected]. We are in your service.

Some Suggestions

We argue that the best way to have civil discussions is to focus on the topic and use respectful language, especially when other users may have significant attachment to a topic. Additionally, it substantially helps if you can provide a source with valid evidence to support your argument. However, attacking a user rarely if ever helps get your point across.

We also understand that each of us can only control our own behaviors, and that it is likely you will be personally attacked on Lemmy. It’s part of being on social media. A wise woman once told me that the best way to win a game with a toxic person is to not play at all. If some bully throws the toxicity ball at you, put the ball down and walk away. If you would like to respond to demonstrate dignity, you can respectfully say that you are choosing to not participate. On the other hand, if you are being harassed or see any violation of our rules, then let the mods know through a report, and the mods will deal with it for you so you can continue enjoying the community knowing it has your back.

This brings up the next suggestion. The use of the up and down vote buttons would work best if they were used to vote on contribution to the thread, not whether you agree with a post/comment or not. If I argue for the use of [whatever] because I think it’s the best, but someone comes up with a good point that I don’t agree with, I can still up-vote it because I think it’s a good contribution to the topic and want to increase its visibility. In this case, my vote isn’t a sponsorship or surrender. It’s an appreciation for the discussion. At the same time, if someone starts with some toxic garbage, just downvote it and move on. Do not engage. At best, the user will drop it and maybe learn from it or leave. At worst, they get more toxic and eventually violate a rule, which will be reported to and addressed by the mods.

How Can You Help?

This post is the quick initial attempt at remedying the issue that has recently been brought to light. While we continue to brainstorm ideas, we would love to hear from you. What can the mods and community do to help maintain the healthy space we have all built?

PS - There are some topics sensitive to our community that the mod team has been asked to have a stance on. We are not ignoring them. While we haven’t discussed the topics yet, we will be in discussion over them to best decide how to address them. Once ready, we will make a post on them. In the meantime, we would like our community to address its daily functioning.

  • @carbon_based
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    10 months ago

    I’d like to see more people acting like belonging to a real community. That is, mutual support/defense when we see a need, or jumping into an argument if we see there might be a misunderstanding we can help to clear. Real bad actors may be rare but the general misunderstanding is a frequent companion. Especially when something is upsetting, the feeling of being left alone with it can potentially draw energy for days to come.

    An educating excerpt from an article i’m just reading:

    There is an important distinction between arguing to “win” and dialogue to learn from each other. For nurturing the mutual trust needed for de-powered collaboration at human scale, it is helpful to distinguish five basic categories of beliefs:

    1. Beliefs based on scientific theories backed by empirical evidence that we are intimately familiar with. Only a small minority of our beliefs fall into this category.
    2. Beliefs based on scientific theories backed by empirical evidence that we are not intimately familiar with. If we are educated, a sizeable minority of our beliefs fall into this category.
    3. Beliefs based on personal experiences and observations. For those who identify as Autistic, a significant number of beliefs held fall into this category.
    4. Beliefs that represent explicit social agreements between specific people regarding communication and collaboration. For those who identify as Autistic, a significant number of beliefs held fall into this category, especially agreements with family, friends, and colleagues.
    5. Beliefs based on what we have been encouraged to believe by parents, teachers, and friends, … and politicians and advertisers, etc. For those who do not identify as Autistic, the majority of beliefs held fall into this category.

    All categories of beliefs are associated with some level of uncertainty regarding the validity and applicability to a specific context at hand. When people argue to “win”, they mostly rely on beliefs in category 5 (opinions). Such arguments are about dominance, they are not open and honest dialogues.

    (Healing from Autistic Trauma by Jorn Bettin)
    … So, next time someone tells us that all “opinions” ought to be valued the same … ;-)

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪OPM
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      9 months ago

      I’d like to see more people acting like belonging to a real community. That is, mutual support/defense when we see a need, or jumping into an argument if we see there might be a misunderstanding we can help to clear.

      Me too! I’m hoping users start making posts asking for help. However, our chat has been engaging in social support, especially the “helpful support/venting” one. If you haven’t joined, I suggest that you check out the sidebar and give it a try. The people in there are ausome 😋

      Also, thanks for sharing that article!