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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throwrababysitters on 2023-10-04 19:37:02+00:00.

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Basically, I’m a single mother to two boys 15 and 10. I have to work to support them and for the past 3 years I’ve used a local babysitter within the neighbourhood who sits in for 3 hours in the afternoon 2 days a week for some extra income. She’s 22, was 19 when she started, and is the sweetest, nicest girl.

I need her for my younger boy, but she watches over my older son as well, as he can be a bit irresponsible and probably shouldn’t be left alone at times. She also helps him with some schoolwork They both genuinely love her and I’ve never had a problem before. I have a nanny cam in their rooms and living room, and I check it once a week.

My teenager has begun to have some behaviour problems and been a bit difficult to manage, throwing some tantrums and at times being a little mean to his younger brother. I’ve scolded him for that and on a couple of occasions took his phone away for a day and sent him to his room. I’m not sure how effective this has been.

Last week when I come home my 15-year old comes to me. His left cheek is a bit red. He says babysitter slapped his face. I ask her and she immediately says yes, and to check the footage. Says he snatches a toy out of his brother’s hands who complains to her. Does it again and again, and when she stretched her hand out to take it from him, he spits on her hand.

I watch the video and that’s exactly what happens. She reacts by drawing her hand back and slapping him sharply across the face with the same hand he spat on. Son puts hand to his cheek and starts crying, and immediately hands the toy over. She sits him down in front of some homework and he immediately starts doing it, and occasionally she comes over to help him with it. I don’t tell her if she did wrong or right, but she’s very confident she did the right thing.

I have never slapped him but I’m quite appalled by what he did. I have grounded him for a week, and taken his phone away. But I’m not sure what to do about the babysitter. He told me he still likes her, and my younger boy REALLY likes her and is comfortable with her. Finding a new one won’t be easy but I am also wondering if I should have a woman around who slapped my son’s face so hard.

TLDR: Babysitter slapped my teenage son across the face because he spat on her hand, but I am inclined towards not firing her because he was wrong.