On a sticky Texas morning, Kimberly Mata-Rubio is lacing up her running shoes ahead of two races she is running in Uvalde in tribute to her daughter Lexi, who was killed in the 2022 Robb Elementary School shooting.
First up is a charity run honoring Lexi’s life. Then it’s back to a tougher contest: Campaigning to become mayor of Uvalde, a town still divided after one of America’s deadliest mass shootings and a botched police response that is still under investigation.
“One thing I hear with all of my children, and it echoes my own belief, is that right now Lexi’s legacy is our priority and we just want to honor her with action,” Mata-Rubio said.
They certainly can dig in and the is no single solution for this. Over the years, I’ve helped many people adopt a more progressive worldview. I don’t have any debate tactics or strategies, because I’ve never come across any that worked for me.
That said, I can briefly share where I’ve found success. To begin with, it’s important that people know I’m on their team. This is usually accomplished by building a friendship on neutral ground, most commonly a shared hobby or interest.
In the confines of trust and friendship, I usually speak up when I disagree about an assumed worldview or political stance. By this time, they usually know me as a person and recognize I’m probably a little more ‘hippy’ than they are, so they’re not shocked or surprised when I disagree.
I never push beyond that vocal disagreement, however. If they ask for more, I explain why I believe what I believe. Over time this civil disagreement and discussion can become its own foundation for friendship.
The catch is to avoid what my brother calls firehosing, where I just inundate someone with all the reasons I disagree. There is usually a long list and people can find it emotionally traumatizing to have their worldview utterly pummeled by hitherto unknown facts and information. It makes them feel defensive and angry that they have no genuine response.
So I try to allow them to set the tempo of the discussion and stop whenever they’re unable to process further.
I lived in Lauren Boebert’s district of Colorado for many years. I know people who personally campaigned alongside her. I still know some of the most insane, disconnected people you’ll ever meet.
From that crowd I helped a several break out and become genuine champions for progressivism. Some of them are just less rabidly conservative than they used to be and still others are largely unchanged, but have at least learned that not all liberals are out to ruin America. The trick is to persuade without coercion, which is so difficult when the stakes feel as high as they are right now.
My best friend was a gun toting Republican who thought Democrats wanted to destroy the country when I first met him. Now, he’s sold off his guns, believes Democrats need to be more progressive and works in a courthouse to help those who need it most. He’s an incredibly smart guy and most of his growth is entirely his own, but he needed the help of a trusted friend to open him to the possibility of thinking differently.
Absolutely phenomenal response. Man… really wish there was some sort of “Fediverse gold” to reward comments like these in these threads…
Thank you! I’m genuinely surprised and gratified anyone other than the OP saw the comment.
Well written response, thank you. And I appreciate your efforts, thank you for that as well.
I’m glad you found it helpful. I love people and this process can be incredibly rewarding. More often it’s deeply frustrating as people ignore arguments or roll over assertions rather than engage with the idea.
Sometimes you just want to shake people when they miss your point entirely.
But patience often bring new opportunities for increased understanding.
People tend to want to argue to just win (what I call the “Internet Warrior”) versus argue to find a solution to a problem.
Which is too bad, because if done right, humanity is a great differential engine, where you put in all different data points in one end of the engine, and you get a consensus out the back end.
But you only get out what you put in, and everyone wants their own personal pound of flesh and victory, versus striving for a common good.