My wife and I had a miscarriage last week. We were 11 weeks along but our baby only grew to 8 weeks.

It’s been devastating.

I’m hoping to get some advice from anyone who’s been through it.

  • what can I do to help my wife? She’s in physical pain which seems to be overriding the emotional pain, but I’m sure it will hit in due time and want to be able to help her the best that I can.

  • our 15 month old obviously doesn’t know what’s going on, but it seems like he’s noticed a change of energy. Its hard to play with him like I normally do. I love him to bits, I just don’t have the energy but I need to make sure he knows he’s loved.

  • we were able to collect the fetus as it passed naturally , we would like to do something to memorialize our unborn child but don’t know what.

  • how can I take care of myself while taking care of my family through these times.

Thanks for any advice.

  • @epyon22
    9•1 year ago
    • just be there for her maybe a bit more attention pick up some chores around the house she does. Give her some alone time to grieve
    • maybe at the same time just your 15 month old out somewhere different, you can give your wife some space too, playground you haven’t been too, ice cream or just out for a meal
    • give your self some time to grieve also
    • there are more people out there that have been through this the first trimester. 10 percent of all pregnancies miscarry in the first trimester. If you both feel comfortable don’t suffer alone confide in someone else to talk through it. There are also online support groups /r/twoxchromosomes was decent for this.