So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

  • AdaM
    link
    fedilink
    English
    94 months ago

    There is no world where “Check out that dude” will mean a woman.

    It will always be “neutral” or masculine.

    And that’s not neutral.

    I have zero interest in fake neutrality

    • go $fsck yourself
      link
      fedilink
      English
      14 months ago

      That’s because context matters.

      “You’re shit” and “You’re the shit” mean completely different things

      • AdaM
        link
        fedilink
        English
        114 months ago

        Of course. No one literally thinks that “dude” always means man.

        The issue isn’t the obvious truth of the different meanings. The issue is that those different meanings aren’t neutral like they claim to be, because they rely on the idea of men being the “default” state of people.

        There’s a reason there isn’t exactly a large number of words in use that can men “woman” and “everybody” and that’s because most men would be uncomfortable with that.

        Yet somehow, the opposite is fine?

        • go $fsck yourself
          link
          fedilink
          English
          -4
          edit-2
          4 months ago

          Of course. No one literally thinks that “dude” always means man.

          Your points in this thread are certainly implying that “dude” is always a man. When you say “if a word is either neutral or masc, then it’s not neutral”, then you’re literally saying it always is masc.

          The issue is that those different meanings aren’t neutral like they claim to be

          So, neutrality is a spectrum? How do you define the different parts of the neutrality spectrum?

          because they rely on the idea of men being the “default” state of people.

          That’s a claim that needs some data to back up.

          because most men would be uncomfortable with that. Yet somehow, the opposite is fine?

          I don’t give a single shit about what they think. Why should anyone?

          • AdaM
            link
            fedilink
            English
            104 months ago

            I don’t give a single shit about what they think. Why should anyone?

            I mean, clearly you do. If you didn’t give a shit, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

            And just like you, enough people “give a shit” about man being a stand in for the default human, that despite literally thousands and years of language development not a single case of “woman as the default” has entered common usage.

            That’s what bias looks like.

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              04 months ago

              Hot take alert… Bitch has seen to evolved similar to Australian’s cunt at this point. “Women as the default” but it is still neutrally used.

              • Thistledown
                link
                fedilink
                English
                54 months ago

                Your examples of female-based neutral words are pejorative. Do you have examples not rooted in misogyny?

                  • Thistledown
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    -14 months ago

                    “Queen” by itself refers to either women or gay men. It is not gender neutral. “Drama queen” is applied to all genders, but, again, this example is pejorative toward women. Do you have any examples of women-centric language that can refer to all genders, but that is not negative toward women?

            • go $fsck yourself
              link
              fedilink
              English
              -34 months ago

              I find your perspective and words judgemental, assumptive, and accusatory.

              I can see no evidence of a good faith discussion from your end, so I will no longer continue with you.

              I hope these words might help you move beyond the veil that causes you to be so assumptive:

              If you look for the light, you can often find it.But if you look for the dark that is all you will ever see.