I’d like a small group with strict/well-defined meeting times that has a coach/conversation-conductor to keep topics on track. I feel like it would work really well if advice was given/received by others with ADHD, while having a leader do stuff like
- make sure 1 person doesn’t dominate the conversation
- keep meeting notes
- call/text people who miss a meeting
- follow up with people who said they were going to do something
But I’ve never really heard of such a system.
I’ve found at least two online services, but I don’t really know if they’re worth trying. I’m curious on your opinion and/or if any of you have tried something similar.
There’s “Study Hall” which I’m not sure is what I’m really looking for https://adult-study-hall-by-adhd-rewired.mn.co/sign_up?plan_id=230880
Then this site seems to have good coaching https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37252231
I have not tried any of those services but a quick glance at each of them makes me very suspicious. I get the feeling I’m being sold something that I’ll find underwhelming at best.
What exactly are you looking for?
Yeah it looks like I didn’t do a good job explaining myself since I have so many comments looking for clarification.
I thought it would be easier for people to talk about a service/similar services, compared to me just describing something that might not even exist. Oh well, anyways, I edited the post to reflect what I actually was looking for but I’ll paste it here too:
I’d like a small group with strict/well-defined meeting times that has a coach/conversation-conductor to keep topics on track. I feel like it would work really well to give and receive real-time advice from others with ADHD, while having a leader do stuff like
- make sure 1 person doesn’t dominate the conversation
- keep meeting notes
- call/text people that miss a meeting
- follow up with people who said they were going to do something
But I’ve never really heard of such a system.
Both of these seem expensive and would be useless to me.
The first one is likely to take advantage of auto-billing based on their service provider, Mighty Networks. That is a trap for people like us… Hell, it’s a trap for a ton of people. I did read over all of their underlying terms and conditions and nothing too bad stuck out other than the standard, “We are going to spam this shit out of you” clauses. (I couldn’t find any auto-billing blurbs, but usually when there is $/month under the price, it’s auto-billing.)
The second one got wrecked in the HN comments and is also a bit expensive. The thread about clarifying the status of their “professionals” was funny, at least.
I don’t mean to be shitting on something that you think might give you hope. Honestly, it sounds like an attempt at group therapy, for obvious reasons. That has a place for a ton of different conditions, but probably not over a Zoom call with a group that is probably all over the spectrum. (I am not saying that’s bad, but that alone could confuse the hell out of me and be a bad experience.)
If you have insurance, it may help pay for legitimate therapy. Regardless, talk to your doctor, shrink, whatever, and ask if there are well known services like this they recommend.
My gut is telling me that these random “services” are borderline scams, or at best, just a waste of money. However, I am naturally paranoid so there is that.
Thanks I appreciate the opinion :) And I’ll let you know if I end up trying them.
Also fun tip for autobill stuff: I never have to remember to cancel stuff because I always use virtual credit cards (I got a privacy.com account back when it was fully free). Just create a virtual card, add a $ limit, and after the first transaction it’ll decline every charge automatically. And for things I actually do use monthly and then eventually want to cancel, it’s also awesome; it’s 2 clicks to cancel the card for any website.
I feel like that expensive coach would be viable if split between 5-10 people. And I would want the advice from those people as well. Alas, I don’t know of a service that works like that.
Could you just find a small group of people? Set up a weekly time for a talk. I understand the paying aspect can help stick with stuff, and you would hope that a trained professional can give better advice than some random person with ADHD, but online services rarely employ truly trained professionals, and my personal experience is that I have consistently disappointed when paying for a professional to give me health advice. It was always something I could have googled, and I was always still left with the problem of having to apply the solution myself - no trained professional can talk the ADHD away, it’s still there, every day.
On the other hand I have received tons of relevant info and advice from fellow ASD/ADHD people sharing their experiences. Practical, day-to-day stuff to trick oneself into doing the things.
What do you think needs improvement in your life?
Thanks for sharing your experience, and yeah I would be interested in a group. I am worried it would fall apart without some kind of penalty for not showing up. Over and over I’ve had the experience:
- Volleyball club => I basically never show up
- Volleyball class (with attendance) => never miss
At least part (but not most) of it is I can tell other people “I’m going to get penalized if I don’t go” and then that person is okay with me not doing their event/request.
The bad advice problem is why I feel like, yes, a small group would be helpful, the advice would come from other people with ADHD not the coach. However, in my experience, a group of 5 people with ADHD takes about 45sec before the conversation goes off on a random tangent with the original topic never to be seen again. The coach would just be the conductor of the conversation. E.g. “hey joe, last week you said X, how is that going”, making sure someone doesnt dominate the conversation, having a checklist, etc. That’s why I feel like both combined would work well.
In terms of improvement, I’d like be able to get feedback on small things, like an email I’m hung up on that I need to respond to. Stuff that isn’t really worth posting about, and may have personal details.
But also, I myself have gathered a lot of strategies, tools, and advice over the decades and I’d like to be able to share those with people. Posts are good, but with a low attention span it’s best to give advice directly when it’s needed instead of just “maybe you can use this 3 months from now”
I would suggest:
- find the small group of people
- hire a psychologist or moderator who offers online sessions over zoom - maybe somebody here knows of someone offering this service privately and not over a platform?
What exactly do you feel you need coaching on more broadly?
Like wheredo you feel you are most lacking? What do you want to be able to do more effectively?
Life.
I mean that both as a joke, but also entirely literally. And I don’t mean this as a way to brush off your comment (I’ll explain) but there isn’t “an area”.
But also it’s not a “need”. If it were a need I’d look for a therapist. I’ve been officially diagnosed for +15 years, but I’m high functioning (an Eagle Scout, PhD student, and I’m getting married this year). I’m looking for a coach because I know I could be doing better across the board; healthier, happier, better partner in relationships, more productive at school/reseach. I keep track of missteps and their reasons; in high school I was likely operating near the best of my potential, but right now I can tell there’s a sizeable gap.
The other, subtle, part of my post is I want to be able to give advice in a small group setting. I’ve learned a lot of things that are worth sharing, and I feel advice works best when tailored to an individual situation.
