You completely missed the point: laughing at someone because they’re struggling is horrible, and there’s no defense. It’s not funny, it’s just shitty. Laughing with them about their unfortunate circumstance is sharing a human moment with them, and is very much not horrible. They are very different things, and it’s pretty easy to tell them apart: one of them will get a laugh from the person suffering. If the joke makes the sufferer laugh, you’re in no position to judge.

And here’s the thing about Ricky Gervais’ comedy: I’m pretty sure his Make-A-Wish fan would have thought the cancer jokes were hilarious, even if his family don’t appreciate them. It’s not like they’re out of character for him, after all; or do you imagine little George managed to avoid all of that and still end up a fan somehow?