Same. I’ve had ego death before, tripped hundreds of times, I’ve always been, and will continue to be, an advocate for psychedelic drugs, mostly mushrooms. But that last trip (mushrooms) was so bad, I was begging my wife to call 911 (convinced I was dying of a heart attack). She was on even more than I was and handled it like a champ, reminding me I was on mushrooms and even slapped a Fitbit on my wrist (which I couldn’t read lol) to show me I was not having a heart attack. I’ll never know how she managed to deal with me in that state. But ever since that night, even if I smoke weed I start to get that panicked feeling from that trip. I realize of course now that I had a panic attack in the moments leading to the ego death and after it became so strong I could no longer panic, said my goodbyes (lol) and accepted my fate. It was pure hell.
I’m convinced my mind is too fragile to experience that ever again and I will not ever take that chance again. It took months to recover and I was even prescribed Klonopin to ease the continuing panic attacks during the following weeks.
Mushrooms can be an amazing, beautiful, life changing drug, but it can also kick your fucking ass so bad you’ll be feeling the effects of that ass whooping for the rest of your life. In retrospect I’m glad I had that experience but do not wish to repeat it. I’ve had bad trips many times but that was straw that broke this camels back.
Long story short, trips can be a learning experience that can’t be obtained anywhere else, but know that they can leave lasting effects (mostly positive, but not always) that will change you on a fundamental level.
The panic attack was the exact same as me although I’d never experienced a panic attack or even mild anxiety before then so it took me about 5 or 6 more panic attacks in the following months to work out what was happening. Was a wild few months there just randomly thinking I was dying.
Same. I’ve had ego death before, tripped hundreds of times, I’ve always been, and will continue to be, an advocate for psychedelic drugs, mostly mushrooms. But that last trip (mushrooms) was so bad, I was begging my wife to call 911 (convinced I was dying of a heart attack). She was on even more than I was and handled it like a champ, reminding me I was on mushrooms and even slapped a Fitbit on my wrist (which I couldn’t read lol) to show me I was not having a heart attack. I’ll never know how she managed to deal with me in that state. But ever since that night, even if I smoke weed I start to get that panicked feeling from that trip. I realize of course now that I had a panic attack in the moments leading to the ego death and after it became so strong I could no longer panic, said my goodbyes (lol) and accepted my fate. It was pure hell.
I’m convinced my mind is too fragile to experience that ever again and I will not ever take that chance again. It took months to recover and I was even prescribed Klonopin to ease the continuing panic attacks during the following weeks.
Mushrooms can be an amazing, beautiful, life changing drug, but it can also kick your fucking ass so bad you’ll be feeling the effects of that ass whooping for the rest of your life. In retrospect I’m glad I had that experience but do not wish to repeat it. I’ve had bad trips many times but that was straw that broke this camels back.
Long story short, trips can be a learning experience that can’t be obtained anywhere else, but know that they can leave lasting effects (mostly positive, but not always) that will change you on a fundamental level.
The panic attack was the exact same as me although I’d never experienced a panic attack or even mild anxiety before then so it took me about 5 or 6 more panic attacks in the following months to work out what was happening. Was a wild few months there just randomly thinking I was dying.