• tygerprints@kbin.social
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    10 months ago

    If you start puking up blood or having blindness, do you sit there and just say, “well I won’t get help because, who know what help is.” I think you know instinctively what help looks like - why do men ignore depression and hate and act like it’s not an illness? It definitely is.

    I don’t think everyone is self-serving or shitty, although I’ve had my share of (very) bad interactions. I just don’t dwell in that particular gutter.

    Yes people are assholes, yes everyone is self-serving. I’ve had a lifetime of being bullied and pushed around by other people. But I know that’s not going to ruin me. For me, the turning point was when I got tired of hurting myself and said, “I’m done letting other people allow me to hate myself.”

    I really did just say “fuck it” and I started over, on my own, with no money and determined to have a life that I own and no one else can ruin. Yes I did have to get a good job (and luckily I did) and make things work without help, but I did it.

    And now I can’t even imagine feeling bad about life. I’m not saying there’s an easy answer out there, there isn’t. The only help you really can rely on is yourself being willing not to give up on yourself.

    • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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      10 months ago

      Right. It’s to be self serving at all costs. And I’m not doing that. I just don’t care or even want to have the drive to do anything in order for a sense of self actuation. Because it’s not. It’s luck and every moment is yours and everyone else’s all the time.

      Why does it have to be a self serving search for my own personal needs?

      Why is the general thought of not being absorbed by the falsehood of a completely singular life seen as depression when it’s more just an acceptance of reality?

      Realizing that life is a mixture of luck, perseverance and a onslaught of everyone else is not the same as not seeking help it’s just not bothering to be part of the problem.

      Why is it the only option that is healthy or normal is to act like a self interested cancer?

      I have started over many MANY times and I don’t see it as some freeing force, it’s just natural entropy. And staunch individualism is just a defense against the reality that we are all just here. No more or less. We are on the ride and the best you can hope for is luck and maybe you get a chance to cobble together a steering wheel that lets you feel in control. Glad you are feeling good but it’s not reality.

      • tygerprints@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        Well I really don’t see anything wrong with being self -serving. It’s honest, for one thing, and it’s not hypocritical. You can’t really do anything for the world until you take care of number one.

        I’m just saying your post seems to indicate you feel depressed. Maybe you aren’t, but if you are I hope you can find a way out.

        It’s true that the most realistic people (not living in fantasy or delusion) are also usually the most depressed. When you look at it, most people are pieces of S#it and that’s just the way it is.

        I personally prefer to err on the side of staunch individualism - which oddly enough to me seems a beacon of liberal freedom (not conservative as people who read Ayn Rand would have us believe). We are all on the ride, so I’m gonna grab me as many of the brass rings as I can and take with everything I have - hands, mouth, asshole - everything.

        That is a good feeling, and it IS my reality. There’s no objective reality other than that people are jerks. I’m proof that you can wake up looking forward to life every day - I do, and I really think you can too if you want to.

        • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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          10 months ago

          Yeah, fuck that. I’m not gonna be selfish just because it’s easier.

          If you are only experiencing life where it’s happy then you aren’t living like a human.

          It’s only liberal freedom because you can ignore caring about others. I’m not giving that up just so I can live in delusion to feel happy. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I know what “self-serving” people are capable of. And I look them with disgust.

          You are a conservative just playing pretend that it’s good for anyone else but you.

          Go do everything on your own then. And leave the rest of us out of it. And don’t use anything you don’t give back.