After a labyrinth of menus as intuitive as dadaist poetry, players are rewarded with knockoffs of decades-old games too maliciously bad to have been designed by AI

I assumed I would boot up the app and there would be a big red button saying GAMES … but no. I have to sign up to PREMIUM. Then find the YOUR PREMIUM BENEFITS section. Then find EXPERIMENTAL FEATURES and select TRY EXPERIMENTAL FEATURES. Then find the TRY GAMES ON YOUTUBE part therein and tap on TRY IT OUT.

  • AutoTL;DR@lemmings.worldBEnglish
    72·
    11 months ago

    This is the best summary I could come up with:

    This reminds me of Lunchables where tiny versions of food fight a losing battle against mountains of separating plastic so kids can make pizzas out of crackers and processed lumps of regret.

    Anyway, I start with 8 Ball Billiards because it’s first on the list and I wonder what YouTube can possibly do to improve a game that has had a billion versions on every machine since the abacus.

    Crazy Caves was like an old Nintendo Game & Watch affair where a goldminer fires pickaxes skyward to smash plummeting rocks.

    Maybe they would appeal to a gamer so casual they don’t bother to get dressed or have a shower, and just lie there in pyjamas covered in beans from last night’s dinner.

    YouTube appears to have ordered barely functioning developers to make supermarket own brand versions of games we got bored playing a decade or more ago.

    They’re like knockoff toys from foreign market stalls, a Robert Downeyesque plastic face in a suit, branded Iron Guy.

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