Research says involuntary celibate men make “fundamental errors” about what women want in a partner.

  • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I wonder if this outlook is more a sign that these people need some help getting started and in a productive tradjectory. Pretty sure this would be me if I hadn’t gotten laid+decent-pay, and had to live with family/random people, never having anything of my own

    • HubertManne@kbin.social
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      10 months ago

      I don’t know about that. I was pretty fine before my first. Place of your own and decent pay. Yeah. everyone needs that. Adults should be able to at a minimum have an efficency of their own while being able to pay at least minimal bills and if they split a multibedroom with roommates or rent out a room from a house they should be able to have a bit more spendy of a life. That should be the minimum and be easy to get. Not something you have to work hard to achieve.

      • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I feel like you were mildly pushing back then ended up convincing yourself to the point you basicaly agree. Not that I want people to not be able to be satisfied even if they have to share a place, I’m just way to eclectic and crave freedom the moment the lock goes click lol

        • HubertManne@kbin.social
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          10 months ago

          well I think the place of your own and independence is important for all adults but the virginity thing not so much.

          • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Haha i was def referring more to the living situation tbh. I just mean people get obsessed often if they can’t obtain or experience something culturally significant aligns with one’s fundamental drives and for males it can be a more socially alienating thing to not have one notch under your belt.

            Like if incels are who they are online with chicks or they were not having luck with being decent/kind pre-incel, it can create a vicious spiral of antisociality and mental degradation

            • HubertManne@kbin.social
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              10 months ago

              yeah all the same I did not have sex till my upper twenties. granted I was in a challenging college major and did a year of a phd program and then after a few years of working in my field decided to change it which meant more study. So I had a lot to occupy me.

              • cheese_greater@lemmy.world
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                10 months ago

                Its not a crime aha. It honestly scares me how much people are willing to compromise, give up, and tolerate just to “have access” to sex. I wouldn’t tradea thing that a toy can give me for a one-time like $100 investment lol.

                Obviously there’s more to it than that but I wouldn’t sacrifice anything for its sake

                • HubertManne@kbin.social
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                  10 months ago

                  Well anyone who wants any kind of relationship, be it it sexual, social, or business, has to compromise. My way or the highway with everyone will certainly result in being alone in all things. But that does not mean giving up stuff that is important to ones self. Generally compatibility comes about when both the people compromising are giving up either relatively unimportant or at least not very important things and of course it has to happen with both. Then there must be benefit that outweighs the sacrifice so that the relationship is strong. Sex itself should be its own thing and should not be considered a benefit, usually anyways sometimes someone is just amazing and you got to consider that a benefit. Sex though should be its own thing as there is a compatibility that is needed for that.