today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn’t show up. I’m pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.
I’ve sent her a polite message, asking if she’s sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won’t treat me.
Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.
For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn’t it bother you?
I am on the anxiety spectrum and have had anger management issues, panic attacks, and the whole business.
My coping strategy has evolved into something like this. I have done a fair amount of body surfing in my day. For this, there is an ideal type of wave you want to ride. Big enough to carry you, but not so big that it’ll bash you about. (My general rule of thumb is that I don’t trust a wave that’s taller than I am!)
So inevitably, you will encounter a big angry wave that wants to pummel you once in awhile. You can’t stop it. The best you can do is take a deep breath, dive straight into it, and let it wash over your head. Not a pleasant experience as you still get knocked about, but you know it will inevitably pass and you just keep your body loose and let it do its thing.
I think of something like a panic attack in the same way. People who say don’t stress over things are unhelpful. You can’t control that. But you can ride it out in a loose, detached sort of way. Let that wave consume you as it must but rest assured it will pass over your head eventually. And when I say stay loose, I mean literally. If you feeling your muscles clenching or your breathing getting fast, focus on those first before working on the detached, stoic mental state.
I hope this helps you a bit? I learned this all the hard way.