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NGL - this is one reason I am on the fence about having kids.
Having kids is hard and really really increases the amount of home chores required. But it is possible to have an equal marriage.
You have to be sure the person you’re marrying knows how an equal marriage is supposed to work. And if you have any doubts, it’s better to break up than push kids into that situation.
Allow an old fart (nearly 50 years married) his comment: the secret is to get the equal marriage thing sorted out first. And, if you don’t mind a bit extra, the secret to sorting out an equal marriage or the equivalent long term commitment, is to sort out the equal relationship first.
As someone who doesn’t have kids, it’s the way to go.
We can get by with small amounts of cleaning for months. Our bills are way less than our friends and family with even a single child too.
For people struggling with this, I recommend the Fair Play book/deck by Eve Rodsky. The book breaks down household tasks and responsibilities to make it clear which partner is responsible for which tasks. It’s extremely unfortunate that this is such a prevalent issue, but assuming that people are with loving partners who are willing to make the effort, the Fair Play book/deck is a great tool to work through this.
