This is an article about the online communities of people who abstain from masturbation. It discusses the reasons people join these communities and the potential harms and benefits. Some people find these communities helpful in overcoming pornography addiction. However, there is concern that these communities spread inaccurate information and may overlap with extremist groups.
You can actually be a manly man without being complete arse. I understand some of the backlash against feminism. Boys are struggling in our school systems. Title 9 is actually used to admit more young men to colleges now, for decades now actually.
I can even understand the popularity of some of the pick up artists who are popular among men who are not quite the “ladies man”. Better yourself, find things that help make you a better person. Get a hobby, work out. Make yourself interesting.
But these right wing pundits are fucking crazy.
I don’t like the term toxic masculinity (edit: if you are trying to better yourself and you say I don’t want to espouse toxic masculinity, I see that as useful (What i mean is that trying to apply it to anyone who offends or upsets you can be problematic.) other than as an idea discussed among academia, but god damn these asshats.
If it helps, there’s a noticeable trend recently - except it’s not just recently and probably hearkens all the way back prior to the dawn of the human species - where people do not mean what they say. I mean… I am being genuine here!:-)
It highly correlates, though is not exclusive to, people being as dumb as a bag of rocks.
e.g. Jesus commands “Love everyone - especially those you do not agree with”, and thousands of years prior the Old Testament said things like “the worker deserves their wages” (as well as tiny little details about tassels and the hems of robes and shit like that), hence Karens (male & female alike) ignore all the stuff they want to, while twisting the meaning of whatever they can get their hands on of that to kill people with (taking a handful of words in isolation, discarding the context, often not even finishing the entire fucking sentence - e.g. “there is now therefore no condemnation, for those that walk according to his path” an important if highly inconvenient, for them, part!). For goodness’ sake, the Old Testament literally prescribes a formula for “bitter herbs” to cause an abortion!
And the people that showed up on January 6? Hint, they weren’t “patriots”.
So if we use the definitions of an idiot, we are going to come away with a ah … “skewed perspective” of said thing - often 180 degrees in opposition to what it was supposed to mean. Hence, I am totally okay with the term “toxic masculinity”, defined in the Oxford Dictionary as:
And if asshats are misusing it, even abusing it lately? Well, they suck, so why would I give one second’s thought to what they want? :-D
I hope that perspective helps, or at least is interesting.