• Ashyr
    56·
    10 months ago

    But seriously, what does that mean?

    • guyinachair@lemmy.world
      130·
      10 months ago

      It’s referring to a copy pasta

      Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

      • Ashyr
        138·
        10 months ago

        This is the downside to being on the internet. Occasionally you get caught in the crossfire.

        • abbadon420@lemm.ee
          295·
          10 months ago

          I mean, you shouldn’t let your kids in places like this, but otherwise a bit of unsanitary copy pasta doesn’t hurt much. Also, you could’ve stopped reading after the first 2 setences.

          • Ashyr
            26·
            10 months ago

            I’m just joking man.

            It’s a common trauma response.

            And still joking, but also…

            • abbadon420@lemm.ee
              42·
              10 months ago

              That’s allright, dude. The reason why I said you shouldn’t let your kids on here is not because the people here are assholes or something. If you can’t laugh about yourself, than what is there to laugh about.

      • rebelsimile
        27·
        10 months ago

        No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility

        Says a rank amateur who’s never tried to fuck a Mr. Mime, clearly.

        • CaptainMcMonkey@lemmy.world
          20·
          10 months ago

          This is the worst thing I’ve seen in a really long time. I hate it so much. I will definitely be sending this to several friends like a chain email.

        • Lmaydev@programming.dev
          4·
          10 months ago

          The speech patterns and emphasis are amazing. Do you have to tune them by hand or does it pick them up from the text.

    • half_built_pyramids@lemmy.world
      622·
      10 months ago

      Someone did you a disservice by giving you the wrong answer.

      It’s because it’s a powerful water type which is one of the more powerful types in Pokemon. It’s easy to get early in the mid game and can carry you through to end game. Really, you should tell everyone you like Vaporeon.

      I won my first tournament with Vaporeon. It was when I was a teenager and it wasn’t an official thing. Just something setup with my school. Turned out my crush was in the final round with me. She bet that if I win she’d give me $20 and if she won she’d have me come do chores at her house.

      I didn’t really need the $20 so I agreed to have her come do my chores when I won. Got a lot of teasing for that, but it got her over to my place. Imagine my surprise when the chore was her taking a huge dump on my chest. Like, she had never eaten a wheaty in her life.