Nex Benedict died one day after a fight in a school bathroom. Their mother Sue Benedict tells Bevan Hurley that the gender fluid teenager endured more than a year of abuse simply for being who they were
A few weeks ago, on 7 February, the bullying allegedly erupted in violence when Nex suffered severe head injuries during a “physical altercation” at Owasso High School, according to the Owasso Police Department.
Sue Benedict told The Independent she was called to the school that day to find Nex badly beaten with bruises over their face and eyes, and with scratches on the back of their head.
Nex told her that they and another transgender student at Owasso High School had been in a fight with three older girls in a girls bathroom. Nex was knocked to the ground during the fight and hit their head on the floor, according to their mother.
Ms Benedict said she was furious that the school had failed to call an ambulance or the police. She said the school then informed her Nex was being suspended for two weeks.
She took Nex to the Bailey Medical Center in Owasso for treatment. They spoke to a police school resource officer at the medical facility and were discharged.
That night, Nex went to bed with a sore head and eventually fell asleep while listening to music, Ms Benedict said.
On the afternoon of 8 February, Nex was getting ready to go to Tulsa with Ms Benedict for an appointment when they collapsed in the family living room.
Ms Benedict called an ambulance, and Owasso Fire Department medics arrived to find Nex had stopped breathing. Nex was taken to the St. Francis Pediatric Emergency Room where they were later declared dead.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Should children have the privilege of asserting their sexual identity in public? I guess so. Does it sometimes have consequences? Bad as it is, yes. You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
So I think it is not me who’s not in sync with reality here.
e: gender identity in this case, not sexual identity
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Not only is that not true, people have been coming out since humans existed, it’s also wrong. You’re confusing sexual identity with gender identity.
Regardless, all you are doing is victim blaming. Nobody should get beaten to death for how they express themselves. This is supposed to be the land of the free, not the land of the beatings for people society deems weird.
You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
The consequences for self expression should not be death, much less vigilante beatings that result in death. And your appathy is frankly disgusting, and a part of the problem.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Instead of someone being beaten to death because of their gender identity, they would beat someone to death because they are gay, or suspected of being gay.
History rhymes.
So your stance is essentially: “queerphobic culture exists therefore queer people should hide to be safe”?
Rather than question the legitimacy or merits of transphobia and fascism, you are placing the burden on the marginalized members to hide and just accept the unjust status quo. Just because something is the status quo does not make it right and it doesn’t make it immutable.
No one is arguing about the existence of consequences. The consequences of hate are painfully clear to everyone. We are saying instead that there ought not to be deadly consequences for being different. It’s unjust.
By your logic, African Americans should have just stayed in the back of the bus and in separate facilities. After all, they got sprayed with firehouses and killed for seeking equal treatment. Consequences amiright? Similarly, American colonists should have just bent the knee because England sent literal armies when they dared to declare independence. Oh well, they should have been aware of the consequences.
Transphobia and fascism isn’t natural law. It can and should be fought. “Aw man that’s just the way it is” is apologetic and defeatist at best.
Then we agree that children shouldn’t have to fight these battles. Unfortunately, the “adults” in Oklahoma and many other states are either failing them or actively participating in their persecution.
I assume you’re a grown-ass person like me. It is my job and your job to make this a safer world for people like Nex. Until then, they are indeed fending for themselves. I vote for the least-bad candidates, contact my representatives frequently, and give to charities who help queer people; admittedly I need to do more. The relevant question isn’t what Nex should have done; they died for being. The question is what can you do such that people like Nex don’t have to fight hate groups alone?
Voting is the bare minimum participation in politics. The groups that want to exterminate queer people are well funded and highly motivated. They sure as hell do more than vote once every four years and hope for the best. Their propagandists never sleep; right now they are kicking the left’s asses in the sheer volume of propaganda they produce and its having an impact.
Yes we should encourage a culture where those who freely express themselves are not celebrated. Everyone should keep their heads down and do what society wants. No one is special. /s
You must be real fun to talk to. What if instead of expressing gender identity, it was expressing Christianity or political alignments that resulted in this?
I’m not American and I’m not LGBTQI+. I’m just a person who believes in basic human rights and wants people to care for each other. But apparently I’m out of sync with reality
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Ah, yes, I remember 20 years ago, where no one asserted their sexual identity, neither cis heterosexual men nor cis heterosexual women did hold hands nor did kiss their partners nor did host large feasts to celebrate their marriages, where neither the groom nor the bride wore specific clothes socially assigned to their gender. No one did this and you could certainly never see it, anywhere.
Listen, I’m a cis straight guy, I just want everyone to enjoy the same freedoms and respect, and some assholes are really keen on not letting some specific people have them.
This child’s blood is on their hands. Not just the kids who did the physical beating, but also the conservatives who set up a culture where this is acceptable.
Try to join the rest of us in reality when you can.
Well, if Nex’s sexual identity indeed was the reason they are dead, and all this had taken place, say, 20 years ago, nobody would’ve died because nobody would’ve asserted their sexual identity in public.
Should children have the privilege of asserting their sexual identity in public? I guess so. Does it sometimes have consequences? Bad as it is, yes. You may very well argue that something is wrong that when it has consequences, but that argument doesn’t yet remove the consequences.
So I think it is not me who’s not in sync with reality here.
e: gender identity in this case, not sexual identity
Not only is that not true, people have been coming out since humans existed, it’s also wrong. You’re confusing sexual identity with gender identity.
Regardless, all you are doing is victim blaming. Nobody should get beaten to death for how they express themselves. This is supposed to be the land of the free, not the land of the beatings for people society deems weird.
The consequences for self expression should not be death, much less vigilante beatings that result in death. And your appathy is frankly disgusting, and a part of the problem.
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deleted by creator
Instead of someone being beaten to death because of their gender identity, they would beat someone to death because they are gay, or suspected of being gay.
History rhymes.
Trans people are a part of the LGBTQ+, so this is nothing new. It’s just a continuation or a long history of violence against the LGBTQ+
So your stance is essentially: “queerphobic culture exists therefore queer people should hide to be safe”?
Rather than question the legitimacy or merits of transphobia and fascism, you are placing the burden on the marginalized members to hide and just accept the unjust status quo. Just because something is the status quo does not make it right and it doesn’t make it immutable.
No one is arguing about the existence of consequences. The consequences of hate are painfully clear to everyone. We are saying instead that there ought not to be deadly consequences for being different. It’s unjust.
By your logic, African Americans should have just stayed in the back of the bus and in separate facilities. After all, they got sprayed with firehouses and killed for seeking equal treatment. Consequences amiright? Similarly, American colonists should have just bent the knee because England sent literal armies when they dared to declare independence. Oh well, they should have been aware of the consequences.
Transphobia and fascism isn’t natural law. It can and should be fought. “Aw man that’s just the way it is” is apologetic and defeatist at best.
Sure. But fighting is not a safe, one-sided activity. Sometimes you punch a fascist and sometimes the fascist punches back.
While it’s all brave and great, I still feel not absolutely great about the idea of having children fight these battles.
Then we agree that children shouldn’t have to fight these battles. Unfortunately, the “adults” in Oklahoma and many other states are either failing them or actively participating in their persecution.
I assume you’re a grown-ass person like me. It is my job and your job to make this a safer world for people like Nex. Until then, they are indeed fending for themselves. I vote for the least-bad candidates, contact my representatives frequently, and give to charities who help queer people; admittedly I need to do more. The relevant question isn’t what Nex should have done; they died for being. The question is what can you do such that people like Nex don’t have to fight hate groups alone?
I voted for Biden and this still happened. Voting literally didn’t help.
Voting is the bare minimum participation in politics. The groups that want to exterminate queer people are well funded and highly motivated. They sure as hell do more than vote once every four years and hope for the best. Their propagandists never sleep; right now they are kicking the left’s asses in the sheer volume of propaganda they produce and its having an impact.
Voting is the participation trophy of politics. Gotta actually go and do things to impact politics.
Yes we should encourage a culture where those who freely express themselves are not celebrated. Everyone should keep their heads down and do what society wants. No one is special. /s
You must be real fun to talk to. What if instead of expressing gender identity, it was expressing Christianity or political alignments that resulted in this?
I’m not American and I’m not LGBTQI+. I’m just a person who believes in basic human rights and wants people to care for each other. But apparently I’m out of sync with reality
Oh, I should let you know that people frequently enjoy a fake laugh to stop me talking.
Why would you think these would be different?
I’m saying it shouldn’t be but it is
Ah, yes, I remember 20 years ago, where no one asserted their sexual identity, neither cis heterosexual men nor cis heterosexual women did hold hands nor did kiss their partners nor did host large feasts to celebrate their marriages, where neither the groom nor the bride wore specific clothes socially assigned to their gender. No one did this and you could certainly never see it, anywhere.
Listen, I’m a cis straight guy, I just want everyone to enjoy the same freedoms and respect, and some assholes are really keen on not letting some specific people have them.