I was out to my long-term partners, and the effect was, as you would expect, always negative, although always on a softer side, like partners getting more irritable and bitter with anything regarding children when I’m around. Sure enough, parenting question was off the table.

I had different approaches to “the talk”, from straight up saying “I’m a pedophile” and managing reactions to going carefully and mentioning I like children in a special way, but never had the active intent to do something due to it. The latter works better, but doesn’t solve everything.

I’m exclusive for boys (pedo range) and non-exclusive for girls (pedo to teleio range, although less hebe, those moody brats are freaking me out :D).

Pedophilia in itself doesn’t have much impact on me besides being a great help when someone needs me to take kids out of adult table for evening talks (I much prefer children company anyways). The societal attitudes, however, added a lot of mental strain indeed. I’m still very much unsure if I’ll ever be able to pull off such thing as a family due to how my partner might react (and I feel very uncomfortable and threatened keeping it inside from a person who would rightfully be extremely angry should they find out the father of their kids is a pedophile), and family is the most valuable thing and the highest priority I have in life. I also hate that I have to be generally reserved and not participate in a lot of things (like, idk, assisting in a child summer camps or educational groups for children or whatnot), because this can also be seen very negatively by my future partner (as seen by past partners being uncomfortable with the idea).

Aside from that, I hate keeping it behind closed doors and it hurts a lot when people say something like “all those pedophiles deserve to die” or comparing pedophiles to child molesters without me being able to say much against it or at least direct them to the goddamn Wikipedia. And it happens A LOT.

Luckily, I have never been outed, and can’t speak for that experience.