polkadotgirlM to Erotica@lemmynsfw.comEnglish · edit-28 months agoSandyNSFWwww.literotica.comexternal-linkmessage-square1fedilinkarrow-up14arrow-down10file-text
arrow-up14arrow-down1external-linkSandyNSFWwww.literotica.compolkadotgirlM to Erotica@lemmynsfw.comEnglish · edit-28 months agomessage-square1fedilinkfile-text
minus-squarenerdydaddy@lemmynsfw.comlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up1·8 months agoThis story has a good premise, and the primary beats are good. The pacing needs some work, and it needs an editor to fix the grammar and punctuation. I’m personally not keen on Dennis being so dismissive of Sandy’s hobbies, but it’s balanced a bit with Sandy and Salt returning that dismissiveness.
This story has a good premise, and the primary beats are good. The pacing needs some work, and it needs an editor to fix the grammar and punctuation.
I’m personally not keen on Dennis being so dismissive of Sandy’s hobbies, but it’s balanced a bit with Sandy and Salt returning that dismissiveness.