I WFH, every year one of the goals that the rest of the team decides is that it’s “so great” to see each other in person. The past few years haven’t worked out but one did. I spent hours in a couple of airports, the huge expense for the company, I spent days away from my family, and for what? So you could look me in my same face you would see if we turned cameras on every once in a while? My husband says I’m being weird, but I legitimately want to know, what is the benefit? I hate being there and have to play nice so you can…look me even closer in the face?
The extraverts had the tables turned on them in 2020 and have been itchy for a captive audience ever since. It’s a drug fix for these people, nothing more. I’ve skipped every cross country in-person team building gibberish since 2020 and will continue to do so.
I like how indulging extrovertism is a drug fix, but indulging introvertism is just normal. Even though we’re scientifically social animals…
Introverts: I don’t mind RTO as long as it’s on an “at will” basis
Extroverts: I want everyone to RTO
See how indulging one or the other isn’t the same?
The problem is that some extroverts try to push their desire for face-to-face engagement onto others while trying to make introverts feel bad or ostracized for not wanting to. Obviously there are sane, reasonable people on both sides. Unfortunately, those that make the rules in the USA are typically neither sane nor reasonable.
This is like calling for straight pride month. Society is built for extroverts, and introverts have always had to put extroverts’ needs first. Now that introverts can work in a comfortable environment, suddenly, it’s an issue.
When I was in high school, I had a girl tell me I was her favorite person to work with, and for one simple reason: if she wanted to talk, I’d talk to her; and if she didn’t, I wouldn’t try to force her into a conversation.
It’s work, not a social call.
We are talking about a get together once or twice a year here. That is very much something that is not only beneficial for extroverts, but also most introverts. The extremities between these often get a bit absurd when discussing. Studies show the happiness level of introverts increasing after social gatherings as well.
Not saying it should happen daily or even weekly. But yearly? That should not be a problem for anyone.
I was talking specifically about PapaStevesy’s comment complaining about calling catering to extroverts a drug-fix and catering to introverts normal, and then going on to imply that introverts are unnatural (too heavy a word, but I can’t come up with a better one) because “we’re social animals.”
But as to the OP, I’m not here to argue against the idea that introverts enjoy social interaction. Because they do. It’s just mentally and emotionally exhausting to do. What I will argue against is the idea that you need to fulfill that social interaction with the people you work with, especially when it requires going to such lengths as a cross-country flight like in OP’s example, who clearly didn’t want to do this nor enjoyed a moment of the whole circus of the experience.
At that point, we’re not even talking extrovert vs. introvert.
As somebody who spent way too long working at a shitty job because I loved the people I worked with, there’s a reason that I never saw any of them outside of work apart from the one guy that I still play games with online. My life doesn’t revolve around work. That’s not what gives my life meaning. It’s simply what I have to do in order to be able to afford to live. I’m not saying be an asshole or don’t get along well with the people you work with, but I am saying that I’d rather spend my time with friends, family, and community. Expecting the people you work with, especially at a remote job, to be part of those 3 simply because you work with them is silly. And at that point, going through a once-yearly gathering is simply ritual, nothing more.
American work culture has always heavily favored extraverts to begin with. I feel really resentful because extraverts finally got a small taste of what it means to be forced to adjust to a workplace they’re uncomfortable with, and now they act like we all need to go into the office again to keep their needs met.
There’s never been any real consideration of introverts when it comes to office culture, other than to ridicule or minimize us when we express our needs. And btw I work a highly social job and interact with people all day long. I’m expected to adjust but extraverts aren’t.
You’re moving goalposts here because we’re specifically talking about work and colleagues. Being an extrovert doesn’t imply you want to meet any effin person.