Who hurt you as a child?
My guesses:
- Intoxication: They’re drunk or high enough that they’re not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
- Narcissism: They’re very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren’t paying attention to what they’re peeing on; just as they don’t remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren’t the help supposed to do that?
- Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn’t think they were making it any worse.
- Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.
Oh, you’ve got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.
I sit at home, but I don’t sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.
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I have found my people.
Our people 🥲
And this is why god invented the paper ass gasket
Exactly, don’t even sit on it to shit. That’s what core muscles are for
This is the way.
Ahhh you’re trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don’t have to? Why even squat above it when you don’t have to? It’s laziness / efficiency, dear, not… 🤣🤣🙄… fragile masculinity.
I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.
Okay… how did you get to know about their dirt asses?
They state it proudly.
I’ll give your straight coworkers that one, none of the gay men I know talk about their assholes.
No it’s both you should see the amount of men who physically recoil when I tell them I sit to pee
Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It’s like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?
The only times I won’t are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.
You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.
Yank toilets have this wierd bowl design, where there’s like 2 litres of water in the bowl at all times
Lost it at piss lizard 🤣
Boggy funny
I’m not going to brag, but my junk hangs low. I’m also in the US. Some toilets are ridiculously full by default, especially older models.
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I bet you eat corn the long way.
Lmao I looked at your history, you’re a weirdo
Legit can’t understand why anyone want to sit down to pee when it can be done standing up.
As for the poor aim issue, get better.
there’s also the legendary twin stream
You’re forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).
Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?
I sometimes switch mine to mist on accident.
I get you, the switch is right there! Such a stupid design.
This is more of a rant isn’t it
I’ll admit, I typed it while dropping a deuce in the absolutely filthy restrooms at The Florida Mall.
Shitting in a Florida mall. Some people skydive, others free climb, then there’s you.
The things we sacrifice to visit CrayolaWorld 😔
That sounds like playing Russian roulette with a pistol, lol. Only bad experiences allowed. A mall bathroom is already dicy, but in florida? Glutton for punishment, haha.
I mean we don’t have a /c/ for that yet, so might as well be here.
Related question, why the fuck do some people feel it necessary to grunt, moan, pant, and otherwise loudly vocalize while shitting? Zero people want to hear you, shut the fuck up, you are gross.
May you be lucky enough to never find out why. Those are not voluntary sounds.
Amen brother. Hit 35 after gallbladder removal. I’ll never poop silently again.
I still don’t buy it. I’ve had shits where I feel like I’m about to pop a blood vessel and still don’t feel a need to vocalize it. My brother has severe IBS and shitting is basically torture for him the way he tells it, still never hear any yelling coming from the bathroom.
People don’t do that for fun haha
Just pray you never have a poop they generates them.
My guess is humans all have different digestive experiences. I never understood magazines and reading on the shitter. I’m in and out under a few minutes, while I take it some don’t have as flowing of a digestive track?
Apparently people need to eat way more fiber or something.
We all have our cross to bear. For some, it’s massive, painful and prolonged shits apparently? I even read about some shitting only a few times a week? I’d be concerned
One family member held it in for a calendar month and had to go to the hospital for help. Kids, haha.
Never did that one again.
They’re charging up their ki in there obviously
I have constipation problems and I can’t stop myself from making those noises, they just kinda come out. Very rude you’re just assuming everyone who grunts and makes noises while shitting is doing it on purpose just to annoy you
Most pain I’ve ever experienced was on a toilet. I could not keep quiet.
Bro, keep eating good fibre and you’ll never know. People do this because they’re blind to the consequences of their shitty diet. Every sodie and highly processed white flour hamburger bun provides them with copious energy and almost zero fiber.
Shut the fuck up and hear me roar mother fucker.
I use the sink so no one can blame me for the toilet seat
I use the little drains on the floor so I don’t have to aim as high
I’ve always wondered, how on earth do people manage to put poop in walls? Our assholes literally point downwards. Some people really bother me.
Edit: a word
This is taking asklemmy to bold new places. 😂
It’s umm…usually people who run out of toilet paper, or can’t find it, or don’t want to use it, in whatever state of mind they’re in :/
It’s not just men and unfortunately it’s not just piss.
It’s not exactly an open-ended question but you seem to be having fun with it. Leaving the post up.
I’ve been trying to AskReddit this for seven years, but it always got deleted. It’s a legitimate question!
Not very high brow I’ll grant you, but legitimate.
I did a practicum in a federal prison for a year and somehow my supervisor and I got onto the topic of bathroom use (probably just talking about the reality of incarcerated live). I’ll never forget it because it was such a candid moment for him when he said: real thugs sit. Nothing else added, just let it be said like that. People that don’t clean up after themselves definitely grinds my gears.
Or just fuckin lift it before you start spraying your pathetic dehydrated weak prostate stream everywhere.
I don’t want to sit on public toilets because people piss on the seat, man.
You ain’t licking your butt. Think about all the other things you sit on and then go sit in your house or touch your pants afterwards. Even wiping your hands on your pants after washing them
I mean it was mostly a joke. But I would actually never wipe my hands on my pants. I’m mindful of where I sit and always conscious about where my hands have been.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the years, I think it’s just as simple as “all care, no responsibility” meaning if the average punter goes into a public toilet and somebody hasn’t cleaned up after themselves (mistakes happen) then that dude sure as shit isn’t going to clean up but he still needs to go therefore he’ll do his best to be clean but if he has to do some sort of gymnastics to keep himself clean then so be it and if the toilet gets messier as a result of those gymnastics then so be it, the cycle continues.
I used to hate urinals and I still don’t like them, but I understand the reason behind it, people are animals when it’s not their property.
As men get older, it becomes more challenging to initiate urination. As a result, the distance the urine stream travels at the beginning becomes unpredictable.
On the other hand, towards the end of urination, the stream becomes weaker and may cause post-dribbling. This also increases the chances of hitting the toilet seat.
Failing to clean the toilet seat afterward is simply pure rudeness though.
Why would you need to clean the seat? Does noone else LIFT the seat beforehand?
You should still clean the rim.
Just sit down.
…on a public toilet seat. I ain’t touching most of them, much less sitting on them, so oh yeah, yeah, no.
Don’t be a baby.
If its not visibly dirtied, wipe it with a paper towel, sot down, do your business and clean up after yourself.
Your ass goes back into your pants anyway, and you wash your ass daily at home (please don’t disappoint me there)
How servile. A man, a free thinker, pisses and shits where he pleases with no warning. A man chooses, a slave obeys.
Skill issue, git gud
Seriously, this thread has been a real boost to my ego. You guys suck at peeing.
Your only achievement in life.
They must not have the DLC
Are we entirely sure no women are squatting and also creating this problem? Because I have witnessed exactly that phoenomenon occur in a bathroom before while attending the restroom with previous partners.
Yeah, women’s restroom have piss on the seats, too. They squat to pee, and there is no aim.
Turns out, both women and men can be gross and not clean up after themselves
No, some of us have piss poor aim, and more commonly sudden bouts of inaccuracy and spread.
No you misunderstand, I didn’t say “only.” I actually said “also.”
true story. my son has a bit of a phobia for public toilets and one day I was out with him and his sister in the city, riding ferry etc. I could see around lunchtime he needed to go, but he refused as he usually does. after lunch it was obvious he really needed to go and wouldn’t make it back home in time (1.5 hour train ride plus time to get back to the station). there was a nicish public toilet at Manly Beach and I walked him in, he had agreed to try as he was clearly desperate.
but he decided no he couldn’t go.
so we catch the ferry back to Sydney. again I asked to take him into the toilet as it was quite nice, but he refused. as we got to the train station, there was no excuse. he was bursting. had to go and had no choice. took him into the toilet. it was without a doubt, handsdown, the worst I had EVER been into. there was shit in the floors, smeared on walls, on the frikken toilet seats. piss everywhere. he had no choice. thankfully there was toilet paper.
I cleaned the seat as best as I could with toilet paper. he went.
we disinfected the shit out of both ourselves when we finally got home.
As for OPs question, some people are just plain animals
Worst I ever saw was a porta-potty on China Beach in San Francisco.
My wife was the one that couldn’t wait any longer. I went in there and spent 10 of the most vile minutes of my life arranging to make it usable. I won’t try to describe it other than to say it was overflowing with solids and looked as though it had been on its side at some point.
To this day my wife uses that as the benchmark of what a good husband does for their wife. If she has a girl friend that thinks their boyfriend or husband loves them she’ll say “Yes, but would he do this…” and tells that story
It’s so universal too, it’s like I have to clean every single toilet seat before I use it.
Men? Have you heard about the women’s?
Also wash your hands afterwards! The pandemic should have highlighted the importance of basic hygiene.
The pandemic taught me that 90% of public restrooms will leave my hands dirtier than when I started, and risk further infection than if I just go in, piss, don’t touch anything and then front kick that door open.
If take a shit do I still need to wash my hands?
Do you use toilet paper or just wipe with your hands? Cause if it’s the latter, yes please wash.
And the former too, wtf.
Who the FUCK is out there shitting in public restrooms? Obviously you don’t leave the house in the morning before you shit and then shower, in that order. Only an insane person takes a dump in a public restroom.
I’m a contractor and work in other people’s homes and sometimes you just get that bubble in the gut when you least expect it and gotta run to the nearest Wendys so you don’t gas out your entire clients house, okay?
That’s different from a public restroom though, that’s someone’s house.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
I did this during the pandemic in a crowded public bathroom, and people fucking stared at me like I was insane. Granted I used a stall like a urinal, and might have kicked some stuff, but a lot of them weren’t wearing masks so…
Yeah man, it wasn’t a great time. I only publicly lost it once. I had a young baby at home so I was taking all the precautions imaginable at the time - early days so it was still a big scary bogeyman especially for babies and the elderly.
I’m masked up grabbing a few things at a local grocery store and this vile woman walking towards me takes off her fucking mask to do a huge sneeze. Sprayed the entire isle with visible particulate. I fucking lost it. I had a can of something in my hands and I threw it violently into the ground sending goop everywhere and started screaming about her being a disgusting bitch and asked her what the point of the mask was. Not my proudest moment. I did my best to stay home after this unless absolutely unavoidable. People are gross.
Wait, no, I mean I used my feet to do everything, which involved a lot of kicking things in a crowded space, which added that I was a teenager & a black male was probably not a good look. I was pretty agitated though, but not angry. :p
Oh yeah I got that. I’m well familiar with the weird no-hands exit technique. It’s my personal favourite.
