Hi folks, I thought I’d create some content and share some experience and learning around any concerns I had about being childfree in my first 10 years after my tubal. I hope this can help those that are at this stage now.
I will say that 35 years after my tubal, I realized in retrospect, somewhere during that time, that I knew in my teens I didn’t want kids. I did go through a period, soon after my tubal at 24, of about 10 years where a lot of my friends tried to pressure me into either spending a ton of time with their kids or even adopt, where I wondered if I really wanted kids cuz I liked babies under 6 months of age. It wasn’t until I got close to someone and her newborn, where I spent plenty of time with her kid over the next 3 years and she was TOTALLY accepting of my decision and NEVER pushed an agenda. I finally realized I truly lost interest in the kid after about 6 months of age and knew I wasn’t interested, not because I was pushing back against acquaintances who were pushing their own agenda in opposition to mine, but because I JUST LOST INTEREST. It took a good, secure in their parenthood, friend to let me understand there was zero interest on my part.
As it turns out what I like about babies was the oxytocin hit from carrying them around, which I learned I could get from cats and small dogs, of which I have 2 now, and they stay small forever instead of just 6 months!
If someone feels the same about children and animals, and then decides to not become a parent as a result, that is a responsible choice. Not all parents like their children. Some parents develop a special bond but not all. Better for a person to have a few pets than create a human being they may end up losing interest in after a few months.
I agree with every word of that, except the first line. My point is that OP cannot possibly know if owning pets will provide them the same satisfaction as having children because they’ve never had children.
No one here is actually disputing what I actually said, because what I actually said is correct. I made a statement, and everyone threw their strawman arguments at me.
And you can’t possibly know how amazing it is to be without children then. Also you sound like someone who thinks forcing a lesbian to be with a man would correct her because she doesn’t know what she’s missing.
I’m sorry did you mistype? I can’t know what it’s like to not have children? Everyone knows what it’s like to not have children, no one is brought into this world already having children. What the fuck are you even trying to say?
And your sexuality comparison is stupid because sexuality is something you’re born with, and you can try the other side without permanently changing yourself, unlike parenthood.
Everything you said is objectively wrong.
If you’re saying parenthood doesn’t change you permanently, you’re deluded.