Since starting my questioning journey, I feel like some of sexual orientation labels make less sense. I like girls (a lot apparently). I have always liked girls. Therefore as amab I am straight, I realize one day in the future “fuck it, I’m transitioning” and then I’m not longer straight. It honestly would make a lot more sense to use words like gynophilic or androphilic to describe more of what you’re attracted to instead of how your attraction relates to you
Probably too in my head about it or something. I don’t mean any disrespect in anyway. I’m just in a long unexpected journey of self reflection and used to view those a little more concretely.
Also, if I ever do get to a point of feeling like I should transition, I’m definitely coming out as a lesbian first and try to let them work backwards. It could be funny. Maybe it could ease the conversation along?
I’m rambling now, this started as (I thought) a kind of funny thought, then got too serious and I’ll shut up now.
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Yeah I definitely feel you there. When I first started this journey, I never expected to at all. I’m 30,how the hell do I not know how I feel about myself? But, I didn’t. And then the thought spirals. “I can’t say 100% no I don’t want to be a girl. I also can’t say 100% I want to be a man. OMG what does that mean?! Does that mean I’m trans? Fuck I never expected that label to be applied to me fuck! What!) (#&@©€¢££°÷…” That was very difficult to break out of, but somehow I backed myself up to ,“you don’t know how you feel, don’t try to feel a label.” I’m trying to think about how I feel about myself and find a way to articulate it and then later maybe I can see what fits me, instead of me fitting it.
I feel you on the body stuff too. Like, I want to present more femme, I have big-ass shoulders for guys even. I am also one of the hairiest people I’ve ever seen in my life, like literally continuously head to toe, front and back. How do I not look like “creep in a dress”?
Also, as I understand to idea of “trans”, it can be as broad as not being 100% inline with gender/body ideas, non binary could be considered under the umbrella of trans.
I’m not wasted, but I feel like this may also not be very coherent. Hopefully it is enough.
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It is a passionate subject! It’s like trying to learn about the absolute core of your being and it turns out that you don’t really know what’s underneath it all.
I love that I found the blahåj, it’s honestly one of, if not the best communities I’ve been a part of online.
That video was not really what I expected, but far more interesting than I was prepared for. It reminds me of another channel I have watched I the past called Prior Attire