This is frustrating to read because it kinda sounds like, “Just don’t be bothered by it, act like everyone expects you to and say the right thing. It’s not hard.” One reason people on the spectrum dwell on past interactions is precisely because they’re trying to work on making the future better without causing trouble – that’s the hard part when social norms or interactions are difficult to wrap your head around.
The trouble with relitigating the past after you said everything is ok, is now people don’t know if your ok when you say your ok. You become a “problem” and can get avoided.
By all means, say something isnt ok when it isn’t. But if you say something is cool, and we are ok… Then own it. Not because your emotions aren’t valid, but because everything is better when people can trust what you say.
“now people don’t know if your ok when you say your ok.”
Well that’s basically the truth right there. I would love if people were considerate of my slow processing and tendency to misspeak, and learned that what I say on the spot might not hold, and maybe they should check in with me later. I didn’t lie— but I didn’t have all the information settled in my head yet.
I do try to communicate my slow processing when possible, to give context to that. If people avoid me because existing with the brain I have makes me “a problem,” good fucking riddance. I don’t need more of those people in my life.
Like, give me some time to think about it??? Why can’t that be common courtesy???
This is frustrating to read because it kinda sounds like, “Just don’t be bothered by it, act like everyone expects you to and say the right thing. It’s not hard.” One reason people on the spectrum dwell on past interactions is precisely because they’re trying to work on making the future better without causing trouble – that’s the hard part when social norms or interactions are difficult to wrap your head around.
The trouble with relitigating the past after you said everything is ok, is now people don’t know if your ok when you say your ok. You become a “problem” and can get avoided.
By all means, say something isnt ok when it isn’t. But if you say something is cool, and we are ok… Then own it. Not because your emotions aren’t valid, but because everything is better when people can trust what you say.
“now people don’t know if your ok when you say your ok.”
Well that’s basically the truth right there. I would love if people were considerate of my slow processing and tendency to misspeak, and learned that what I say on the spot might not hold, and maybe they should check in with me later. I didn’t lie— but I didn’t have all the information settled in my head yet.
I do try to communicate my slow processing when possible, to give context to that. If people avoid me because existing with the brain I have makes me “a problem,” good fucking riddance. I don’t need more of those people in my life.
Like, give me some time to think about it??? Why can’t that be common courtesy???