The most canonical text of russian hysterical propaganda that got laughed at and reworked into many memes by ukrainian and russian folks alike for two whole years, but sadly yet to reach NAFO. It’s a poem by Denis Chernukhin about the invasion, but, sorrely, when asked by journalists, he denied he wrote any poetry. And I am here to deny him and his masterpiece falling into obscurity.

Obviously, it’s all about homosexual intercourse and dominance marinated in homophobia, because yes, it just can’t be anything different when you sniff up hypermasculinity farts with both nostrils. But this one is the most wicked not only for being posted in all caps and followed by three exclamation marks instead of every period or coma, but for being so insanely idiotic and untimely - as it was posted at the start of the war, and peaked it’s popularity as russian AFs left Kherson. There’s probably no russian-speaking person, who followed the war news, who can’t recognize a troll\ironic comment starting with СЛОВНО, especially on reddit.

I’d put my translation after the original text. Enjoy the irony and keep on memeing. It’s harder to fear the thing that became a laugh stock, and it keeps us all going.

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СЛОВНО ХУЙ ДРОЧЕНЫЙ В ЖОПУ ПИДОРА!!! В УКРАИНУ РАТЬ РОССИЙСКАЯ ВОШЛА!!! НЕ ОСТАВИВ ФАШИКАММ НИ ВЫБОРА!!! АРМИЯ НА КИЕВ В БОЙ ПОШЛА!!!

СКОРО, ВЫ, УЕБИЩА ОТВЕТИТЕ!!! ЗА МАЙДАН ЗА СЛЕЗЫ ДОНБАСЯТ!!! ЕСЛИ НЕ ИЗДОХНИТЕ, ТО ПОЕДЕТЕ!!! НА КИЧУ МИНИМУМ ЛЕТ НА ПЯТЬ!!!

ВЫ МОЛИТЕСЬ СУКИ О ПРОЩЕНИИ!!! ЧТОБ ВАС НЕКРОМСАЛИ КАК СВИНЕЙ!!! МЫ ИМЕЕМ ПРАВО НА ОТМЩЕНИЕ!!! БОЛЬШЕ ТЫ В МИРНЯК СТРЕЛЯТЬ НЕ СМЕЙ!!!

ВСТАНЬТЕ НА КОЛЕНИ СУКИ ЕБАНЫЕ!!! ПРИГОТОВЬТЕСЬ ПАСТЬЮ ХУЙ СОСАТЬ!!! ЖОПЫ ВАШИ БУДУТ ЖЕТСКО ВЫЕБАНЫ!!! ТОЛЬКО ТАК МЫ БУДЕМ ВАС “ПРОЩАТЬ”!!!

ВОСЕМЬ ЛЕТ ДОНБАСС ХОТЕЛИ ВЫЕБАТЬ!!! А ТЕПЕРЬ ЖЕ ВСЕ НАОБОРОТ!!! ЕСТЬ У ВАС УЕБИЩ ПРАВО ВЫБИРАТЬ!!! РУССКИЙ ХУЙ СОВАТЬ ИЛЬ В ЖОПУ ИЛИ ВРОТ!!!

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Like a masturbated dick entering the f-got’s anus!!! The russian army entered Ukraine!!! Leaving no choice for them nazis!!! Our men started to conquer Kyiv!!!

Soon, you bastards gonna answer!!! For Maidan, for cries of Donbas’ kids*!!! And if you’d not die, you’d be transported!!! To prison, for at least 5 years!!!

You bitches better start to ask for a forgiveness!!! For you to not be slaughtered like pigs!!! We have all rights to have a vengeance!!! For you to never shoot at civs again!!!

Stand on your knees, you fucking bitches!!! Prepare yourself to suck a dick!!! Your asses would get fucked without mercy!!! That’s the way we’re able to forgive!!!

For eight years, you wished to fuck the Donbas!!! But it’s completely different this time!!! We leave you a democratic choice!!! You only pick, where russian dick should go, your mouth or ass!!!

* It’s hard to translate “донбасята” right, and it probably means children of Donbas, but for a native it sounds like author describes smaller animals like cats or dogs with no agency - not unlike how civilians here are presented in the news.

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I hope I’d not get autobanned for that shitpost. Feel free to use it in your memes.