Remind me that its worth it and it gets better.
Just had Baby #2 a few weeks ago and I somehow forgot how isolating and challenging the newborn stage is. Maybe a growth spurt but the excessive crying and inconsolable behaviors, the sleep deprivation, the loss of ones self, no support outside of dad…
Marriage seems to have a harder time through this one too. The bonding with baby is difficult. Everyone keeps telling me how big my baby is and how she looks like a boy. My body has permanent reminders of this decision.
I know about PPA and PPD. I fully recognize that the hormone dump is real. But please, other parents of multiples, remind me its temporary and that having a family of 4 is better than 3.
It does get better. We have 3 (ages 2-8 now). You’re in the hardest part right now.
I highly recommend talking to someone, whether it be a therapist, friend/family, or support group. It helps so much to know you’re not alone and even just have an outlet to vent.
Find ways to get even 30 minutes to yourself and/or with your partner, even if it’s just when the kids are asleep. Go on walks, with and without kids, if possible. Talk to them about what you’re feeling and help each other through it.
Most of all, remember that this is temporary. This is where you put in the most work with the least visible results. Within weeks or a few months at most, your kids will be interacting with each other. This time next year, you’ll have a toddler running around babbling and laughing with their older sibling. You haven’t even begun to see the life changing magic of their relationship with each other. It will come quickly and never stop enriching your entire family’s lives. It does get better. 💕
Four kids here. 8 (boy), 6 (girl), 4(girl), 1(girl). It really does get better. There are hard times, and sometimes you may regret it, but it always gets better. There are lots of great books out there to help you out. I’ve read a great deal of them, and I’d be happy to recommend as many as you need. There is a great podcast by Janet Lansbury called Unruffled. I highly recommend it.
I second Unruffled! Janet is awesome.
As a dad, talk to your partner
I didn’t know some the things my wife went through until well after the fact.
You know that it will get better and easier as the new one grows and family routines develop
All the best for the coming years from a father of two girls
