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Not so great. 6 months HRT.
I don’t look good in any feminine clothing. I’m too insecure to practice voice or makeup around my partner. Because I don’t look remotely femme I’m too insecure to look for a hairdresser.
My partner keeps pressuring me because I don’t like enough traditionally cis woman things, or don’t like them as much as I should, or that I still like some things that are not necessarily targeted towards cis women, and its ruining my self-confidence. I need local transfem friends I can reach out to and hang out with and go shopping with but its not easy being older and non-US.
Once step forward, three steps back.
I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this, but having hobbies and likes that aren’t traditionally feminine doesn’t make you any less a woman. Every cis woman I know has at least a couple supposedly “masculine” hobbies. If you’re partner is pressuring you to fit into a sexist stereotype, it sounds like they aren’t actually very supportive of you.
About in the same boat. 6 months in, see some changes but definitely agony trying to be patient. Is your partner supportive or not so much? Mine sure wasn’t it was pretty bad hah.
It feels like my partner wants to be supportive because it’s the right thing to do, but at an instinctive level she is unhappy and resentful as she was raised in an exceptionally conservative, highly-religious, eastern european family.
Which results in saying the right things, but pulling back short of any real support with passive aggression, apathy, and feigned ignorance. I’m not sure whether I’d prefer that to completely unsupportive.
Im sorry to hear this is happening. I am concerned my famaily will get wierd seeing me change like this. Anyway, its been a month since you commented, how have things been?
Pretty great. I’m 3 weeks on HRT now but I didn’t notice any visual changes yet but I certainly do feel colder now.
It’s probably the hardest part of HRT: waiting for something to happen.
I finally pass visually, at least sometimes (I can tell because men have started referring to me as girl, and online they condescendingly explain basic programming concepts to me), but man my voice is so masculine. I’ve only just started voice training and I wish I had started earlier.
I’ve been doing voice training recently with quite a bit of success. don’t forget to have fun with it and play around! the lions share of the work is figuring out which muscles in your neck you want to use. voice training doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom, it can be an actually fun thing to do! and trust me, it’ll be worth it when you finally hear your true voice <3
Thanks for the encouragement <3 I’ve been putting it off and definitely been a bit in the “doom and gloom” headspace. I’ve always spoken in a fairly deep monotone, so its fair to say I was pretty daunted by the idea of manipulating my voice. That said, I actually finally managed to make some minor (but meaningful) progress last time I practiced, so hopefully I can ride on that success to motivate me!
that’s awesome and yeah I was in a similar boat (deep voice with vocal fry). if your experience will be anything like mine, there will come a moment where it just clicks and while it won’t immediately give you an angelic voice, manipulating your voice will feel so much more intuitive (and that’s where it gets really fun ime).
If it helps, I can’t recommend this resource highly enough. In 3 months I achieved results close to my goal after poor results of on and off practice for the last few years.
I’ll check it out! Hopefully it works as well for me as it did for you
Good luck! I will qualify that I was able to have 3 separate 10-15 minute practice sessions a day, spaced out 3 or more hours from each other. Getting the practice in consistently helped a lot.
Still in closet. I’ll slowly start coming out to my family next week and see how things are going. I hope to start going to a therapist during summer but that depends on how accepting my parents will be.
Done and dusted. A few years back, I realised that I had nothing else I wanted to achieve, no more goals or plans in front of me in terms of my transition. I’d achieved most of what I was hoping for, came to terms with some things I hadn’t achieved, and to this day I am still struggling with some elements I achieved. But even though the internal process is still going on, in terms of social, medical etc, there’s nothing left.
Still feels like an unachievable goal at 32. Part of me still feels unsure that it’s what I want, especially as it will mean losing my partner of 12 years. Yet I still keep finding myself on these subs, doing voice training it my alone time, shave my legs etc.
Closet is safe and does not put me in the firing line depending on an election (fed gov job in red state, wooooo.)
Apparently, my family has a hereditary blood pressure problem treated by Spironolactone, so I probably would’ve ended up on that no matter what. Only took my mom 30+ years of doctors failing to treat it before it was found out! One of these days I’ll go for my first doctor’s appointment since checks notes 2018 and bring up my long list of shit to discuss.
For now, I will try to be content with occasional full body shaving and wearing skirts at home (very comfy, long one is like wearing a blanket constantly), and save money to make moving to another state (a goal of mine) possible in the future.
I don’t pass, but HRT has increased my confidence by an order if magnitude! I’d been voice training before, so it’s okay, and sometimes I even love it! Just waiting some more for body shape to change and hair to grow (I started late on that) and I’d either look androgynous or feminine, either is a win (I’m demigirl I think? idk, gender’s weird).
Soon at 4 years of hrt and starting to feel a bit hopeless regarding how little it can change on my body.
But I got myself some cool clothes and I’m pretty proud that I’ve been able to start voice training again after COVID ruined all the progress I made last time!
I know a cis woman who caught COVID and her voice got into baritone range for a while. Crazy stuff
Pretty great! I’m at 9 months HRT, and in the last few weeks I’ve gotten my legal name changed, gotten my ears pierced, and had my e dose increased. I’m also getting better at using my femme voice but I still struggle a little bit with using it in public.
Planning my social transitioning, still a few months away :(
got my first therapy session in 2 weeks. i’m not 100 % sure about this whole thing but in my country I still need a professional to give me the green flag for HRT. it’s such a mixed bag of feelings rn lol
Just had my first check up with my Endo yesterday. Been on HRT for 3 months and my E levels are almost where I want them at 97.1 pg/ml. Trying to get to the 150 range.
Haven’t gotten my testosterone test back yet but hoping it’s low as the 100mg of Spiro a day is already kicking my ass.
Also through these blood tests I found out I probably have hyperthyroidism so gonna have to figure that all out. And maybe Celiacs Disease. Lol
But otherwise, I’m super happy with my results so far and just learned my daily ibuprofen intake can stunt boob growth so I’m coming off that as fast as possible.
Currently my biggest hurdle is finally coming out at work … Then everyone in my life will finally know and I don’t have to keep going by my deadname
Pretty okay. The amount I pass varies by how much effort I put into myself that day, but I’m okay with that. I hope to get into a stablenenough living situation to get bottom surgery.
There’s still some progress to be had and things I’d like to work on, but I’m so, so much better off now than when I started, both physically and mentally, it’s honestly unreal
