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I’m not sure if mine changed, but I gave off such strong queer vibes that everyone has assumed I was bi or gay since I started high school. I could tell that as well, but not in a cohesive way that I could label, so I just kinda settled on bi.
Anyway I realised I was trans and almost completely gay for women (plus I never had a particular genitals preference). So I guess people were right, just in the wrong direction!
We call that harassment/xenophobia where I’m from
Not to say that any of your identity is false, just calling out the behavior for what it was, on the surface, from an outsiders perspective
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I’m not saying people didn’t ever call me gay unkindly, but it wasn’t like that. People were more just surprised when I identified as straight, or when I didn’t show much interest in men.
Fair enough
Not really, but kind of. I was always interested in women and men, but realizing i was trans helped me understand what i was feeling towards women was jealousy not sexual attraction. Unfortunately being attracted to men as a transwoman is kind of a nasty catch22 as my hands were too big for the straight men and the gay men really just wanted a twink. (generalizing here, not all men, etc etc)
So I became mostly aromanic, satisfied with just like… flings with guys online. soft catfishing for quick e-sex, and then I met my girlfriend, who makes me feel like I’ve never loved anyone except her. And we lived happily ever after
Not much change for me insofar as genital preferences are concerned, but I do have a vastly deepened appreciation for cuddling now~
OMG CUDDLING!! I feel so safe doing it now, rather then repressing and awkwardness at its thought! 🫂
My inner feelings didn’t change, but my interpretation of them and ideas of how it would work in practice did. I’m bi but bi-ased (new term coined?) towards women, but before it didn’t feel very strong because I couldn’t imagine a very satisfying relationship. The best part of sex, I feel, is being emotionally open, which I could not be as my AGAB.
i was always bi/pan but with a preference for women, but i feel like coming into transmasc(-ish) genderqueerness made me somehow “gayer” for men than before.
Before transitioning, I was attracted to men and women, maybe even a little biased towards men. My attraction to men sharply dropped off after I began hormone therapy and started feeling like a woman. Now I consider myself exclusively lesbian. My desire for male affection was almost entirely driven by gender dysphoria and a desire to “feel like a woman” romantically and sexually.
My pre transition attraction to women was hampered a lot by the idea that I would be a guy with a girl, and be expected to conform to heterosexual expectations for how a man should date and have sex with a woman. I never wanted to penetrate, and my fantasies about women only extended to oral sex and them penetrating me with toys. When I realized that I could be with a woman as a woman, it was an absolute game changer and I never looked back.
Was Ace before, still Ace
I’ve never had a genital preference but for a long time I thought I was only attracted to women and I considered myself to be lesbian. However, after starting hormones I realized that I actually have no gender preference as well, but I still have a preference for people who are mostly feminine. Although it is just a preference and on rare occasion I will find a predominantly masculine person attractive as well. So now I consider myself to be pansexual instead.
I’ve only just recently cracked, but it came with a sudden more clear understanding of my attractions. I have always been attracted to women almost exclusively. I would not have thought I could feel more attracted to women, but suddenly I am. I don’t really know how to describe it.
Assuming you are a woman, it might be the kinship between women that is so attractive. I know it is for me :)
That’s a good way to put it. I feel that part of it is that I no longer have to view women through the “male gaze” which was always awkward for me. Also sapphic relationships are now open to me.
I’m not part of the community, but I would like to say it is heartening to see such a wonderful discussion on Lemmy.
Next question? :P
Yeah, mine changed, but how much of it was change, and how much of it was getting out of the closet is something I will never know. I know that in hindsight I wish I’d had experiences as a gay man before I came out as trans, so that I could have experienced positive queer relationships with men. Instead, I only dated women pre transition, and they could always tell that something wasn’t right… My attraction wasn’t quite there…
After much self exploration, I came to understand that I am panromantic, and predominantly heterosexual, however my dating preference is basically “If you’re not openly queer, I’m not interested”.
Honestly was just really coming into my sexuality anyways, pans pan though. It’s just that it feels so much more right with my attraction to women being gay and my attraction to men being straight.
The queer community in general ought to reorient to “I like [blank]” versus “I like what’s typical/atypical based on what you figure I am.”
