I typically don’t care about things like hairstyle, makeup or clothes. But my wife has started giving herself a buzz cut and I simply hate it. I told her and she grew it out for a while, but she said longer hair was making her depressed and it needed to be a buzz cut. She said it just looks like her when she sees it. Part of me thinks that’s gender euphoria and she’s just around the corner from realising that she’s trans. I would not be comfortable continuing the relationship in that case. (She has said she feels a-gender but not male).
I’ve tried to tolerate it, but I dislike looking at her now and it’s contributing to me being depressed now. I don’t want these feelings every time I look at my wife.
We’ve generally had a good relationship over about one and a half decades, with two young children. We’re also codependent and own a house together.
It would make things difficult if we separate. I really don’t want to separate just because of a haircut, but I’ve definitely been thinking about it. I just don’t know what to do.
I’m not a therapist, but my money’s on hair not being the real issue in this situation.
What else could it be? To me, given how it’s a persistent haircut that she wants to maintain, it may as well be comparable to cutting the front 1mm of one’s nose off. That would make one less attractive to probably a lot of people, with no other/further factor involved.
Long hair is a pain in the ass to maintain and women are socially pressured to keep it long. Maybe she’s sick of it. It’s nothing like cutting off your nose wtf.
She has said long hair is too annoying, and that’s fine (I do have long hair and it doesn’t bother me but we can differ there). But, I think it’s more about how she looks. I’ve suggested the short hairstyles I would be OK with, but she’s not interested. I think because they’re the most feminine short styles I could find, which is what I am attracted to. I’m worried that she really wants to look masculine and that’s not what I’m attracted to.
But the opposite of long hair isn’t a buzz cut; there are many other styles. Hopefully they can find some kind of happy medium.
I have tried to suggest all the short hairstyles that I like and then the ones I could probably tolerate, but apparently it has to be a buzz cut…
Removed by mod
It could indeed. I think we all have some aesthetics we give weight to whether or not we refuse to acknowledge it. It’s just worth making sense of how much and how it affects you. Is it enough to run out of a relationship with a family of 1.5 decades?