• elcanadiano@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    The second verse of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s song, Headline News, is about these two.

    Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion And when she finally made it She saw some other girl who was better And so she hired some guy to Club her in the knee cap

      • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that The relative position of the planets and the stars Could have a special deep significance or meaning That exclusively applies to only you But, let me give you my assurance that These forecasts and predictions are all based on Solid, scientific, documented evidence So you would have to be some kind of moron Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true Where was I?

        • Oka@lemmy.ml
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          6 months ago

          They’ve got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

        • Oka@lemmy.ml
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          6 months ago

          Warrior!

          You might incredible strength, and you can probably pwn somebody’s face.

          But you are worthless without a priest, you are destined to raid for all your life.

      • MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out

        And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside

        And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died

        Except for me

        You know why?

        'Cause I had my tray table up

        And my seat back in the full upright position

        Had my tray table up

        And my seat back in the full upright position