The 401Kids Savings Act would create savings accounts for newborns. While state child savings accounts have shown promise, inflation and taxes prompt concerns.
“hey, it’s your 18 birthday: hot single women in your area want to help you celebrate. Just send $53,000 to book your cabin on our exclusive birthday extravaganza cruise!”
Can’t wait to read the headlines in 20 years:
“My 401Kids account was hacked and now I start with nothing”
And
“Dad uses 401Kids account used for hookers and blow”
And
"Buy now, save later, 401Kids account available for lay-by purchases "
Also:
“Need money now? Get a low* interest loan using only your child’s 401Kids as collateral! Turn that theoretical money into actual money!”
*And you better not miss a payment, you fucking deadbeat.
I’ll start my own 401k. With blackjack, and hookers!
“hey, it’s your 18 birthday: hot single women in your area want to help you celebrate. Just send $53,000 to book your cabin on our exclusive birthday extravaganza cruise!”