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    2324 days ago

    COURIER: “That right there (pointing at the platinum chip) is the mail. Now let’s talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Boone? I’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? “Robert House,” this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Robert’s mail is getting sent back to me. Robert House! Robert House! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Robert House! So I say to myself, “I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands! Otherwise, he’s never going to get it and he’s going to keep coming back down here.” So I go up to Robert’s office and what do I find out, Boone? What do I find out?! There is no Robert House. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, “Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper.” There’s no Robert House? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Robert! All right. So I start marchin’ my way down to Jane in HR and I knock on her door and I say, “Jane! Jane! I gotta talk to you about Robert.” And when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single goddamn desk in that office! There…is…no…Jane in HR. Boone, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.”

    Boone: OK, Courier I’m going to have to stop you right there. Not only do all of these people exist, but they’ve been asking for their mail on a daily basis. It’s all they’re talking about up there. Jesus Christ, dude, we are going to lose our jobs.