• pelletbucket@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    I don’t know if I would call it alarming as much as eye-opening.

    I had been flying commercial all day (coach), and had saved a bunch of Valium specifically for when I got home. I eventually discovered that Valium doesn’t do anything for me unless I’m particularly keyed up, but at the time I thought the issue was the dose. because 10 and 15 mg wasn’t making me feel anything, I assumed I needed to take 25 or 30, so that’s exactly what I did.

    woke up the next morning to find a half eaten bowl of plain ramen noodles in the sink, the still-full bullion packet in the trash. I had to go and check my security cameras, I’d gotten up, made the noodles, eaten half of them, stuck the bowl in the sink and then went back to bed, in a complete state of blackout. ordinarily, when I’m high, I know better than to attempt certain things. I don’t turn the oven on, because I’m going to leave it on. obviously I don’t drive. I don’t post on social media, or have anything other than one word replies to anybody who texts me (other than the people who think it’s funny when I’m baked). the fact that I had been in a blackout state and still somehow felt comfortable turning the stove on and boiling water meant I didn’t know that I was fucked up. the fact that I didn’t use the seasoning packet means that I was clearly not in full control my faculties. I don’t take benzos recreationally anymore