My wife and I married at age 20. We’re now 66 and still going strong. I still don’t understand how or why anyone could be expected to reliably predict the future.
The one thing I can say that we’ve never done is to successfully predict how we would evolve as individuals over time and how that would affect our relationship. We’re not still together because of some decision made over 45 years ago, but because of decisions we’ve made, if not every day, then at least every year.
Of all the flaws in any ideology or even individual belief system, the biggest by far is the idea that a position must be held at all costs or a decision be written in stone for all time.
With that kind of thinking, no honest person would marry while still of an age where having children makes sense. There are no guarantees in life and only a fool thinks there is.
My personal opinion used to be that some people don’t put the effort in to get through a rough patch. I’ve since realized that one person’s rough patch is another’s deal breaker. We’re not all the same, and that includes responses to disaster and resilience in the face of adversity.
Just because it’s not working now and there is no evidence that it can be made to work doesn’t mean anyone entered into it in bad faith. That vow you reference might fit with certain ideologies, but it’s as fragile in the face of reality as most ideologies.
My wife and I married at age 20. We’re now 66 and still going strong. I still don’t understand how or why anyone could be expected to reliably predict the future.
The one thing I can say that we’ve never done is to successfully predict how we would evolve as individuals over time and how that would affect our relationship. We’re not still together because of some decision made over 45 years ago, but because of decisions we’ve made, if not every day, then at least every year.
Of all the flaws in any ideology or even individual belief system, the biggest by far is the idea that a position must be held at all costs or a decision be written in stone for all time.
If you can’t be sure, one should not marry.
It’s for better or worse, for sick or for poor.
Or do we just lie when we take vows these days?
With that kind of thinking, no honest person would marry while still of an age where having children makes sense. There are no guarantees in life and only a fool thinks there is.
My personal opinion used to be that some people don’t put the effort in to get through a rough patch. I’ve since realized that one person’s rough patch is another’s deal breaker. We’re not all the same, and that includes responses to disaster and resilience in the face of adversity.
Just because it’s not working now and there is no evidence that it can be made to work doesn’t mean anyone entered into it in bad faith. That vow you reference might fit with certain ideologies, but it’s as fragile in the face of reality as most ideologies.