First born nipper of seven weeks is well for which I count my blessings. Fresh challenges for daddy though: I don’t have the emotional and physical comfort from my girlfriend that I had become accustomed to. Obviously, she is looking after a baby for everything she’s worth, with me right behind her. We’re breastfeeding. Circumstances conspired for me to get away for a night out a week ago - for the first time - with my best friend and it was wonderful. I was a lot less stressed afterwards and had a lot more to give the next day. But it also reminded me of the time before we had our baby; fun, sex, freedom, all that jazz. We managed to have some rushed sexy time a few weeks ago (thanks grandpa), a couple of brief cuddles and a couple of limited heart-to-heart chats but really I feel like I’m basically just a cook, potwash, caretaker and babysitter. Whilst being hyper-focussed our baby, she also tries her best not to overload me, which I’m grateful for. But I’m not getting much love, care, understanding or respect from anywhere at the moment. Nice moments with my daughter just about keeps me in the game tbh. Do any of you recongnise this? Can you offer any light at the end of the tunnel, recommend what to do? I’m feeling very strapped in. Thanks

  • Railing5132@lemmy.worldEnglish
    281·
    6 months ago

    I’m on midnight watch with our 6 week old daughter as I’m typing this. Your girlfriend just created a whole 'nother human being, then either forced it out an oriface or had major abdominal surgery, and is now expending about 1500 calories per day making milk to sustain the little being. While this is happening, her brain and body is swimming in a hormone soup to form an immense bond with baby and begin resetting her body. She’s exhausted. She feels gross and sex is the last thing on her mind. Doctors recommend no earlier than 2 months for vaginal birth and 3 for c-sections.

    Like it or not, when you signed up to become a parent, you gave away the “lead character” role. Both of you exist to keep the newborn thriving right now. You will have a chance to be intimate with your girlfriend again. But it will be on your child’s schedule, not yours.

    • sbvEnglish
      3·
      6 months ago

      Thanks for being upfront with what the rest of us were thinking.